a strong wind at my back [semi/shirabu, single dad au]

[zemi]

[Okay. Today's important. Meeting the lawyer. Important first meetings.

Checklist.

- Teeth. Clean.
- Shower. Probably scrubbed too hard. Soap got in his eyes.
- Hair. Brushed. Brushed enough. He never got it to stick flat after high school, he blames the bleach.
- Ugh.
- Suit. Yeah, sure.
- Ohmygod he actually does not care.
- Tie. Fuck.
- Wait. What the fuck is the lawyer's name.
- FUCK.
- FUCK!!!!!
- Rui.

Semi pushes his mild panic attack off to the side to peek into the room where mentioned love of his life should be with his little brother (his other love of his life). They're both there, they're fine, and honestly just looking at Rui simmers all the nerves that were catching fire in Semi.

He's a grand mess right now, not that he'd ever admit that within earshot of Kunimi, but he's doing it for Rui. And if it's for Rui then it's worth every inch of stress and awkward conversation with a lawyer that doesn't actually care about his well-being. Because if one good thing came from this godforsaken marriage (he shouldn't call it that. he loved her, he truly did), it was Rui. He was going to talk to this lawyer and make it clear to them that he didn't care about anything else. She could have the apartment, the furniture, the money - whatever she wanted, as long as he could keep Rui.

His child. His little bundle of a bean that resembles and acts far too much like his uncle but smiles chubby and precious whenever he sees Semi.

Semi takes a deep breath. He smiles for Rui and then gets to gathering all the documents that have ended up scattered with all his nights of pacing.]

I gotta scoot. Are you sure you'll be okay with him today, Akira?

Comments

[zemi]

Sleep. On the damn. Bed.

[shitabu]

No.

[seijouhai]

[ And at that moment, Kunimi pokes his head out of his room and gives them both A Look™, equally authoritative. ]

Stop arguing - Rui's trying to sleep.

[ Binches. ]

[zemi]

[Semi startles at Kunimi's interruption, the lift in his voice about to continue their argument shrinking down.

His voice becomes sheepish but he does not look away from Shirabu. And he points, slowly, towards the bedroom.] You heard the man, Shirabu. Now go to the room.

[The dad in him is coming out oops.]

[shitabu]

[ Shirabu holds his tongue as he looks at Semi, Kunimi, and then Semi again. There's an urge to keep arguing because he still doesn't necessarily want to sleep in Semi's bed by himself - but he doesn't want to give Kunimi any reason to be mad at him again.

So flatly, he replies ] Fine. [ and grabs Semi by the wrist to pull him into his room, too.

If he can't sleep on the couch, then neither of them can. ]

[zemi]

[Shirabu shocks the breath right out of semi until they’re into the bedroom and it hits him all at once.]

Wait – wait, Shirabu, what the hell are you thinking? [He keeps his voice low so Kunimi (and most importantly, Rui) wont be bothered. They’re no longer arguing but Semi’s not done yet.]

[shitabu]

[ ... that's a fair question. But: ] We're not getting anywhere talking about it. I don't want you sleeping on the couch and you don't want me to, either.

So we're sharing a bed.

[ How serious is he about this? Serious enough that his voice doesn't waver at the suggestion of sleeping next to his crush. ]

[zemi]

[zemi]

That's better than you just taking the bed?

[?!?!?!?!?!?!? ????!!!?? BI PANIC?!?!?!?!]

[shitabu]

My answer is not going to change, Semi. [ PERISH, ZURA ]

[zemi]

[Hough geez, he's serious. Semi runs his hand through his hair, avoiding looking at Shirabu's face.] Fine. Fine, it's better than nothing. [His poor heart is just going to explode is all.

Semi gathers some extra blankets and pillows to distract himself as they head into the room together (together?!?!?!?!!?). And, true to his word, he changes the sheets, too, so Shirabu can sleep on something fresh.]

I have an extra shirt you can wear to sleep but I dunno about bottoms. They might just fall off you. [Yes, yes, make a weak hearted jab to ignore how he's pretty much sabotaging himself by offering his clothes. Just the thought of Shirabu wearing his clothes makes his heart beat even louder.]

[shitabu]

[ While Semi gets the bed all set up for the two of them, Shirabu takes a moment to sort through his work briefcase. If he'd known about the snow (or, more accurately, if he'd taken a moment to actually breathe and listen to the weather report) he might've brought more than his laptop with him... after all, if he's snowed in now, who's to say he's going to be able to leave in the morning? For all he knows he could be stuck at Semi's until the weather clears up.

But that's out of his hands now. There's no turning back the clock to get files from the depths of his desk drawer - just as there's no way to back out of this sleeping arrangement, now that Semi's going along with it and making jokes about how small he is compared to him.

Shirabu stares blankly at Semi, setting his work stuff down on what he's silently declaring to be his side of the bed. ] It's cold. I'm not sleeping without pants. [ binch? ] Don't you have any with drawstrings?

[zemi]

Uhhh. Maybe. Let me check.

[On second thought, Shirabu sleeping without pants in the same bed as Semi may have actually legit killed him. So Semi's rather grateful when he does manage to dig out a pair with drawstrings. They've got paint on them, but it'll do.

He throws them and a shirt at Shirabu.] Change. I'm going to go say goodnight to Rui and Akira.

[And when he staggers (reluctantly) back into the room, Shirabu better be fully changed.]

[shitabu]

[ Luckily for Semi, Shirabu will be dressed and underneath the covers by the time he reenters the room, so his poor bisexual heart won't have to suffer from seeing his exposed chest, or just how much looser his pants are around his waist and legs. (He also misses the face Shirabu, almost... fond, as he stares at the clothes on his body and wonders what pieces he's painted while wearing them.)

But as he's sitting up in bed, checking his phone one last time and adjusting his morning alarms, the neckline of the shirt droops enough to show off his collarbones - something that Shirabu doesn't even noticed. ] Are they asleep? [ Not that he's going to admit to feeling bad about keeping Rui up. The argument was necessary. ]

[zemi]

[No collarbones should be that attractive. Who does this kid think he is.

Semi perseveres. He scratches the back of his head. Nonchalant.] They're asleep. You know how Akira is, [sleepmaster 5000] and Rui picked that up from him so even if we were loud it's fine now. [Not that that's an excuse to be loud. He wants to make sure Rui gets all the sleep he needs. But he's out like a light again so really, it's fine.

He stares at the bed - his bed. his bed that Shirabu is currently in - for just a moment longer before climbing in too.

.................. well then. Awkward.]

Lights out?

[shitabu]

[ As soon as Semi gets into bed, Shirabu turns off his phone screen and gets comfortable on his back. If he lets himself think or address how awkward this all is, then it would get really awkward, so he decides he simply won't dwell on it. ]

Lights out.

[ ... which, of course, is easier said than done. Once the lights are off and (un)comfortable silence settles over them, Shirabu spends what feels like an eternity unable to sleep, eyes closed but every fiber of his being hyper-focused on the fact that Semi is so close to him. Close enough to touch, if he were bolder. His breathing is soft, barely audible, and he can picture the serene look on his face as he sleeps in his mind's eye.

(But he doesn't dare look himself. He's not sure he actually wants to know his exact expression.)

Shirabu doesn't speak a word of the thoughts that ran through his head that night. Even after he rises the next morning and works a good portion of the day from the comfort of Semi's dining table, still bundled up in his clothes (they're warmer and cozier than his suit) his lips are sealed.

And for a few months, Shirabu is able to pretend as though nothing's changed. Like they didn't cross some sort of line into new, uncharted territory that neither of them are willing to name. But as he's sitting with Semi one night long after Kunimi and Rui have gone to bed, lightheartedly laughing along with whatever dumb thing he's saying, a feeling explodes within him.

He's comfortable here. He's thought that before, sure - but he's comfortable here and he doesn't want to leave.

And like that, the dam within his heart crumbles and he's left with a longing he's never felt before in his life. Not even his near obsession with Ushijima back in high school compares to this, to this desire to just close the damn distance between them and- and- he doesn't even know what but do something. His hands tighten at his sides to quell the nervous energy running through his limbs.

He starts ] Semi- [ but then immediately stops. His thoughts fly all over the place as he tries to apply at least a semblance of logic to all this, throw himself a proverbial life ring before he drowns in this sea of emotion. He couldn't- shouldn't say anything, right? It's been well over a year since Semi first approached him for a divorce but he's a divorced man for god's sake. He shouldn't- couldn't- but- but--!!

He shakes his head, mostly to himself. ] ... Never mind. It's nothing.