volkamenia | you write my name on your walls [xander+takumi, butler au]

[Nohr hasn't seen many nice days recently and more than that, the occupants of Krakenburg Castle haven't had the chance to enjoy those rare nice days.

Xander is sure there will be rain later in the day or he'll be called in to speak with Iago of his father's latest war plans, but for now while there is peace and sun he is determined to enjoy it. For Xander, that only means having a moment to drink tea out in the gazebo (if Elise hasn't monopolized it already). As such, he's asked Takumi to prepare some tea for him and to bring with it an extra teacup in hopes that the boy would join him this time.

It's been years, years and years, since Takumi came (was taken. kidnapped.) to Nohr. He'd been just a child then, confused and unsure, and now he was a young adult. A young man whom Xander had tried to bring up as family alongside him despite how clearly Takumi was being reared to be nothing but a servant. And after years and years Xander knows he's failed in that aspect as sometimes Takumi is still as timid and submissive as he was when he first arrived. Sometimes Takumi still seems so afraid to be anything more than a servant, as if he'll be a burden.

It frustrates Xander because he truly cares about the boy.

Xander is hoping for the best though. That if for just this moment, again, while there is peace and sun, that Takumi will allow himself to relax and just be with Xander.

So he sits out in the gazebo in wait. A book open in his lap but not actually reading it.]

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[ Nice days in Nohr were a commodity, so Takumi made sure to take advantage of them however he could. Letting laundry dry outside in the warm, crisp air, tending to the garden when its not muddy and miserable and, right now, bring tea for his lord (and, Takumi assumes, his company) to enjoy.

That the extra teacup could be for him doesn't cross his mind - while Xander acts kindly to him, Takumi is more than aware of his status. Truthfully he yearns to be closer still to his lord, to feel like he truly belongs there with him, at his side... But he can't. He doesn't. He's just a servant, abandoned at birth and only alive due to the kindness of the royal family. He couldn't ask for more.

Takumi bows slightly to Xander, a quiet and polite greeting, before turning his attention to the tea. A second flush Darjeeling - high quality. Nothing less than the best for the crown prince. (Except himself, perhaps.) ] Are you expecting company, milord? [ does he need to grab more cups??? ]

[The book is shut closed and Xander rests it on the railing so he can assist Takumi in any way he can - or in any way he'll let him. Even if that's just turning the extra teacup upright and gesturing at the open seat.]

I am. And wouldn't you know, he's actually already arrived. [Xander looks up at Takumi through his eyelashes. That errant curl of his bangs blocking his vision just so.] Sit with me, Takumi. Wont you?

[ Xander won't be allowed to help much - he's the crown prince for goodness sake! not a low-ranked butler!! - but it also means that he won't be able to miss the look of surprise that crosses Takumi's face when he's invited to sit down. ]

M- me? [ ???????????????????????????????????? He looks over his shoulder for a moment, just to be absolutely sure this isn't a joke of sorts, that Leo or one of Xander's personal retainers wasn't rounding the corner heading their way, before glancing back at Xander. ] I still have things to tend to, but... ...

[ He swallows hard, swallows down the "I'm not worthy"s that he knows Xander hates to hear, and slowly lowers himself into the open seat. He's clearly nervous, on the edge of his chair, hands tight on his knees and making no effort to pour himself a cup of tea, but at least he's staying???

God. ]

[Okay. Well. Staying is a start. But this is exactly what Xander means by Takumi being afraid to be anything more than a servant. He doesn't understand why Takumi is still so stiff with him after all this time. He still hopes to take a step in remedying that today but... the frustration is probably clear on his face. It's hard to hide the wrinkle between his brows.]

Let me make myself clear... I'd like for you to join me, but you are to stay of your own free will. This isn't an order, just a request from a friend.

[Whether Takumi chooses to stay or leave, Xander is pouring him tea since the extra cup has remained empty. It can be something of a peace offering.]

[ Takumi wants to believe Xander. Wants to believe that Xander cares about him beyond how useful he is, how well he can serve him and his siblings, but it's just hard. The word "friend" does not bring him joy, but a nearly suffocating amount of anxiety - it was easier when he was younger, less competent, having to depend more on his lord than the other way around. But he hears what others in the castle say about him, knows their poor treatment of him stems from being different yet still, for reasons they don't understand, trusted by Xander. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this, any of this.

Not daring to meet Xander's eye (he can hear the frustration dripping from his words, the frustration at him, and he feels his stomach twist painfully), he simply shakes his head slowly and scoots slightly, so his back is closer to the back of the chair. ] ... I'll stay, milord.

[ But he feels unable to stomach the tea. ]

[That's.... not a satisfying answer. At least he doesn't look as ready to bolt as before.

Xander takes a wary sip, keeping his eyes on Takumi. (the tea is perfect, of course, Takumi always knows how to pick and prepare them). After a moment he reclines back in the chair to the point where he's almost (but only almost) in a slump. Most unbecoming of a crown prince, but Xander really is ready to try anything for Takumi to relax with him.]

It really is beautiful today; I don't think I've seen the sky this clear in weeks. And you've been cooped up in the castle recently so this must be especially nice for you, yes?

[Kill this awkward excuse of a man.]

Have things been going well?

[ It's an effort, but unfortunately Takumi's anxiety is a tough nut to crack. He allows himself to touch the teacup, let its warmth seep into his fingers, and focuses his eyes on the steam rising slowly from the cup. ]

... Yes. [ To both of Xander's questions - though unmentioned goes the nightmares that haunted him at night, the loneliness that was his constant companion. Even now it perched on his shoulders, weighing him down.

But he wasn't alone. Distant or not, Xander's sitting across the table from him. Someone who could provide an answer to the thoughts floating around in his head for days. ] - But I have a question. If you don't mind.

[ His fingers tighten around the teacup as he feels his stomach twist once more. ] Someone recently said I wasn't a true Nohrian. They said I looked like a Hoshidan. [ The who is inconsequential, but- ]

I'm not... right?

[Ah. Xander is aware of the rumors and thinly veiled insults floating around the castle about Takumi. He's been ignoring them thus far, thinking Takumi has too. But... Xander takes another sip. Takes a heavy breath through his nose.]

You aren't. You're Nohrian through and through. [And as far as he's concerned, Takumi is. He may have come from Hoshido but he's been raised as a Nohrian. He's one of them.]

They resort to petty insults because they're jealous, Takumi. Pay them no mind.

[ In Takumi's defense, he's done his best to ignore them. But his skin is not as thick as many may think - not when he knows (he thinks he knows) just how disposable he is to the royal family. ]

I don't think they have anything to be jealous of, milord. [ But something about Xander's words feel... nice, still, and he quietly picks up his cup and takes the smallest of sips of tea, savoring how warm it is as it slides down his throat. ]

But thank you. I appreciate your reassurance. [ It's something, at least. ]

[HALLELUJAH. Xander smiles behind the lip of the tea cup. He's gotten somewhere with Takumi now, it wouldn't hurt to reassure him a little more?]

It's because you've got a special place here. With us.

[A sentiment that could be reassuring but could also be understood in a way that means Takumi's only valuable because of his place in the castle. Not that Xander's thinking of it that way. No, he thinks everything's fine and dandy. If anything's wrong here, it's that he asked for tea and forgot about any sort of biscuit.]

[ What Xander means is that Takumi belongs here, that he's like family, but all Takumi thinks is of the hidden meaning behind the words. If not for Xander's kindness, would he be worth anything at all? He's not anyone special. Won't ever be anyone special. He's just a kid with overwhelming amounts of anxiety who happens to make a decent pot of tea. ]

... Thank you, milord.

[ It's a little emptier than he intends, but hopefully Xander won't notice. ]

you write my name on your walls [xander+takumi, butler au]

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