[ Raven doesn't say anything until they get to the bridge leading out of town (where ragou drew his last breath). As long as Yuri lets him, he keeps a hold on his hand. ]
Right. [ Always straight to business, isn't he? ] Honestly, I... wanna know how you're doin' first. I know you won't be honest 'round the others, especially the little lady, but... you just woke up not too long ago, didn't ya? [ He's been worried. Still is, honestly. ]
[Yuri doesn’t let go of his hand, but he stops at a point so their arms are extended between them. He’s slowly getting used to it, but the fact that Raven can read him so easily is still a bit unnerving. It warrants a little distance but not an entire wall.] I didn’t think you were one to worry. But I’m fine. A little sore, but okay.
[Still not sure how he lived or why Duke decided to save him. But okay.]
[ Raven laughs, though the sound rings hollowly. ]
I know it ain't my style, but... I was worried about you, too. Course, I had a feelin' you were still alive, but life can be cruel sometimes. I could hope all I wanted you were still breathin', but wishes alone don't keep a man's heart beating.
[ His voice softens, and for once he actually sounds... vulnerable. Like the 35 year old man that he is, that's lost more people than he could ever hope to count. ] So, thanks for makin' it back to us in one piece.
Why. [Yuri’s not trying to be cruel; he can see Raven is allowing himself to be vulnerable. He knows Raven cares. He knows Raven’s still wracked with guilt for what he did to Estelle and the ripple his actions sent through the entire group. But they’ve also been dancing around this for long enough.] Why do you want me alive so badly?
[ Well. It's not like he wasn't going to address the elephant in the room tonight. But it looks like he's gotta bring it up now or lose his chance forever. Yuri's not giving him a choice in the matter.
Raven swallows hard, eyes dropping to their still joined hands. He squeezes gently, an attempt to ground himself as the part of himself that's drifted through life these past year with a death wish screams to run. Anxiety squeezes the breath out of his lungs and his tongue feels heavy in his mouth.
Still, he spits out: ] - Cause you make me feel alive.
[ There it is. Can't take it back now. ]
Don't say anything - just. Just lemme talk, okay? [ His hand tightens, almost uncomfortably so. ] I've lived a long time, y'know. But I've only felt this way once before. [ And that was with Casey. Which was hopeless from the start. ] You're... special to me, Yuri. I know ya don't really need someone like me around but- [ A deep, shuddering breath. ]
[Yuri had expected a confession but -you make me feel alive - absolutely floors him. That confession shocks the breath right out of him and Yuri’s left staring at Raven’s downturned gaze, mouth parted stupid and in awe.He’s slow to register the rest of what Raven says after that, but when he does, he squeezes the other man’s hand just as tight.] Don’t go assuming I don’t need someone like you in my life.
[Yuri smiles, soft.] When I said your life belonged to Brave Vesperia, I meant to me, too.
[ The self-deprecating part of Raven thinks that Yuri might've been better off without him in the long run. If he wasn't around, him and Estelle both wouldn't have had to deal with so much.
But he's here, with Yuri's hand in his - and Yuri's correcting him, insisting that his life has value to him (that he needs him) with that soft smile evident in his voice.
He lifts his head up slowly, still not meeting his eye. ] Needing me and loving me are two different things. [ Raven's not trying to be cruel, either, but... that isn't an answer. ] Just tell it to me straight, kid.
[ "Needing me and loving me are two different things." Yuri would argue otherwise. He can't live without his needs, and he can't live without Raven.
In another time and place, Yuri might have teased Raven for his wording. No, he didn't like him. He loved him. But this isn't the place and is definitely not the time. Not with Raven exposing one of his most vulnerable truths to him. The other man has never looked so strong and yet so fragile. ]
Yeah. I like ya, old man. I love ya.
the way this notif wasn't even in raven's dw inbox. the fuck
[ if that was telling it to him straight then he can't IMAGINE what telling it to him gay would sound like
It's Raven's turn to get the breath shocked out of him - and quite audibly at that, as he finally meets his gaze probably. ]
Really?? [ Yuri wouldn't lie to him about this. He's got his soft spots, sure, but there's "being nice to Karol" and then there's "reciprocating romantic feelings for a guy you'd have every right to hate". But also holy shit???? Hello??????? His heart feels like it's about to explode??????? Positive?????
There's plenty he could say here. Some things vulnerable, other things just plain stupid. But what he settles on is this: ] A guy could get used ta hearin' that!
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Right. [ Always straight to business, isn't he? ] Honestly, I... wanna know how you're doin' first. I know you won't be honest 'round the others, especially the little lady, but... you just woke up not too long ago, didn't ya? [ He's been worried. Still is, honestly. ]
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[Still not sure how he lived or why Duke decided to save him. But okay.]
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I know it ain't my style, but... I was worried about you, too. Course, I had a feelin' you were still alive, but life can be cruel sometimes. I could hope all I wanted you were still breathin', but wishes alone don't keep a man's heart beating.
[ His voice softens, and for once he actually sounds... vulnerable. Like the 35 year old man that he is, that's lost more people than he could ever hope to count. ] So, thanks for makin' it back to us in one piece.
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Raven swallows hard, eyes dropping to their still joined hands. He squeezes gently, an attempt to ground himself as the part of himself that's drifted through life these past year with a death wish screams to run. Anxiety squeezes the breath out of his lungs and his tongue feels heavy in his mouth.
Still, he spits out: ] - Cause you make me feel alive.
[ There it is. Can't take it back now. ]
Don't say anything - just. Just lemme talk, okay? [ His hand tightens, almost uncomfortably so. ] I've lived a long time, y'know. But I've only felt this way once before. [ And that was with Casey. Which was hopeless from the start. ] You're... special to me, Yuri. I know ya don't really need someone like me around but- [ A deep, shuddering breath. ]
But I love ya. So I don't wanna lose you.
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[Yuri smiles, soft.] When I said your life belonged to Brave Vesperia, I meant to me, too.
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But he's here, with Yuri's hand in his - and Yuri's correcting him, insisting that his life has value to him (that he needs him) with that soft smile evident in his voice.
He lifts his head up slowly, still not meeting his eye. ] Needing me and loving me are two different things. [ Raven's not trying to be cruel, either, but... that isn't an answer. ] Just tell it to me straight, kid.
Do ya like me or not?
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In another time and place, Yuri might have teased Raven for his wording. No, he didn't like him. He loved him. But this isn't the place and is definitely not the time. Not with Raven exposing one of his most vulnerable truths to him. The other man has never looked so strong and yet so fragile. ]
Yeah. I like ya, old man. I love ya.
the way this notif wasn't even in raven's dw inbox. the fuck
if that was telling it to him straight then he can't IMAGINE what telling it to him gay would sound likeIt's Raven's turn to get the breath shocked out of him - and quite audibly at that, as he finally meets his gaze probably. ]
Really?? [ Yuri wouldn't lie to him about this. He's got his soft spots, sure, but there's "being nice to Karol" and then there's "reciprocating romantic feelings for a guy you'd have every right to hate". But also holy shit???? Hello??????? His heart feels like it's about to explode??????? Positive?????
There's plenty he could say here. Some things vulnerable, other things just plain stupid. But what he settles on is this: ] A guy could get used ta hearin' that!