Huh? [ Ashe follows Felix's gaze down to his arm, where his mark lies. His cheeks turn pink, not from physical exertion, and he looks... sheepish? ] Promise me you won't laugh?
[ He rolls up his sleeve all the way, revealing the beautiful (and tough-looking) sword and lion-emblazoned shield design over his bicep. ] It- it's my soulmate mark. It's quite a cool design, isn't it? [ His voice pitches into a nervous giggle as his thumb brushes over one of the blades. ] Though I'm not sure if it really suits me... but I'm sure it'll all make sense, once I meet my soulmate!
[The lion confirms the horrible realization that's settling in Felix's chest. Just as the swords are the same on Dedue's, the lion is the same on Dedue's and his own. The only imagery Ashe is missing is the violets that is present in all three of their marks.
Ashe is the violets. Their violets. He's their last fucking soulmate.]
Fuck. [Fuck!] Goddammit. [Goddammit! Anger rises in his throat, as it always does when he's emotionally compromised and doesn't know how to process it.
Why does he have to be the one to fine their last soulmate? He's terrible at this sort of thing. And actually, Ashe being one of his soulmates actually isn't a problem. He likes him. A lot. But, goddammit, he was his friend first. He's finally made a friend of his own, who has no connection to the other two, but now this? Was he not allowed to have anything for himself?] Are you fucking kidding me?
[Felix screws his eyes shut tight, hiding his face behind a fist. He's going to kill Dimitri when he gets home. This is clearly all his fault.]
[ Well. It's not laughing. But this reaction - the anger and frustration in his voice, the way he withdraws after his outburst - feels worse. Ashe is sure having a giant weight dropped on his chest would hurt less.
He rises to his knees before Felix, hesitant. Should he reach through this wall he's formed around himself, or keep his distance? ]
Felix...
[ He goes for the former, resting his hand gently against his arm. His thumb brushes against him in a motion Ashe hopes is soothing. ] Felix, what's wrong?
[Felix wrenches his arm away from Ashes touch. It’s unnecessary. They’re in public. He’s being cruel. But he’s so fucking mad. Was he only drawn to Ashe in the first place because they’re soulmates? Had he made his own decision there or had it been influenced by stupid fucking fate.
He tugs his sleeve up, not even bothering to be kind to himself, and reveals his own soulmate mark. A shield emblazoned with a lion, the same as Ashe’s, is permanent on his bicep. The only difference, is, again, the violets decoratively scattered about.] This is what’s wrong.
[ It makes sense. Given the swords and shield, he always thought his soulmate would be strong. And he'd just said moments before that Felix was exactly that.
But why that reaction? Did he... not want to find his soulmate? Is there something wrong with him specifically?
His frown deepens, and he folds his hands in his lap. ] But I don't understand... why are you upset?
[How does Felix articulate that he's tired of being jerked around by fate? That he's beginning to feel helpless and like his decisions and own wants mean nothing anymore.
He doesn't.] Because I don't want three fucking soulmates.
[ That's not something he can mishear. He has three soulmates, and Felix is only one of them. ]
This is a lot to take in... [ And he should be focusing on calming Felix down, not his own feelings. But he has to know - ] You... know our other soulmates, then. [ It's not a question. Ashe doesn't think he'd phrase it like that if he didn't know for certain he's the third. ] Who are they?
[Felix laughs, dry and without any humor to it.] The boar and Dedue.
[Those two life ruiners.] The boar has been so eager to meet you. It’s been bugging him for ages, not knowing who our last soulmate was. [Why couldn’t it be him in this position? At least Felix is starting to calm down now that he’s had his outburst. He’s still angry, but it’s calming down to a simmer just below his skin.]
[ Ashe has heard plenty about the two of them - but to think they were more than just Felix's roommates...
He tries reaching for Felix again, but slower this time. If his touch is still unwelcome, then Felix can avoid him without issue. ] I suppose that makes sense. I've been curious, too, for as long as I can remember.
But, Felix... [ His words are still rattling around in his head. "I don't want three fucking soulmates." ] Are you okay? With me, I mean.
[ He looks down at the floor. ] I- if you rather pretend we're not soulmates, that's... [ well. it doesn't feel okay. but. ] I don't want to lose our friendship because of this.
[Felix doesn't move away this time. He lets Ashe touch him and opens his eyes from behind his hand.] This [All of this. All of his anger and frustration.] has nothing to do with it being you.
[Except it does.] It doesn't matter who - I'd be mad regardless.
I don't want to lose our friendship either. I'm - [Felix grits his teeth. Hides behind his fist again. He feels so stupid admitting this but he knows he's hurt Ashe enough. Put him through enough of an emotional rollercoaster already with his hot and cold reactions.] I'm more mad that I have to share you now.
[ Ashe's hand tightens around his arm. He... can't say he completely understands. But. ]
I don't know if it helps to hear this, but... you'll always be special to me, Felix. [ He says, soft and earnest, and gives him a small smile. ]
Even after I get to know Dedue and... the boar [ He hesitates at that. It doesn't feel great, calling someone he doesn't know a name like that. ] that won't change.
[ If he had to guess, being special is a part of all this. But Ashe won't voice that thought. ]
I'm happy it's you, too. [ He reaches his other hand for Felix's - he won't force down the wall he's created with his fist, but he'll touch it with a warm, gentle hand. ] Like I told you before, I admire you. Honestly, I feel pretty lucky...
[ The sentence trails off with a nervous little chuckle. ] Can I ask you another question?
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[ He rolls up his sleeve all the way, revealing the beautiful (and tough-looking) sword and lion-emblazoned shield design over his bicep. ] It- it's my soulmate mark. It's quite a cool design, isn't it? [ His voice pitches into a nervous giggle as his thumb brushes over one of the blades. ] Though I'm not sure if it really suits me... but I'm sure it'll all make sense, once I meet my soulmate!
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Ashe is the violets. Their violets. He's their last fucking soulmate.]
Fuck. [Fuck!] Goddammit. [Goddammit! Anger rises in his throat, as it always does when he's emotionally compromised and doesn't know how to process it.
Why does he have to be the one to fine their last soulmate? He's terrible at this sort of thing. And actually, Ashe being one of his soulmates actually isn't a problem. He likes him. A lot. But, goddammit, he was his friend first. He's finally made a friend of his own, who has no connection to the other two, but now this? Was he not allowed to have anything for himself?] Are you fucking kidding me?
[Felix screws his eyes shut tight, hiding his face behind a fist. He's going to kill Dimitri when he gets home. This is clearly all his fault.]
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He rises to his knees before Felix, hesitant. Should he reach through this wall he's formed around himself, or keep his distance? ]
Felix...
[ He goes for the former, resting his hand gently against his arm. His thumb brushes against him in a motion Ashe hopes is soothing. ] Felix, what's wrong?
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He tugs his sleeve up, not even bothering to be kind to himself, and reveals his own soulmate mark. A shield emblazoned with a lion, the same as Ashe’s, is permanent on his bicep. The only difference, is, again, the violets decoratively scattered about.] This is what’s wrong.
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You... you're my soulmate?
[ It makes sense. Given the swords and shield, he always thought his soulmate would be strong. And he'd just said moments before that Felix was exactly that.
But why that reaction? Did he... not want to find his soulmate? Is there something wrong with him specifically?
His frown deepens, and he folds his hands in his lap. ] But I don't understand... why are you upset?
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He doesn't.] Because I don't want three fucking soulmates.
[You heard him right, Ashe. Three.]
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[ That's not something he can mishear. He has three soulmates, and Felix is only one of them. ]
This is a lot to take in... [ And he should be focusing on calming Felix down, not his own feelings. But he has to know - ] You... know our other soulmates, then. [ It's not a question. Ashe doesn't think he'd phrase it like that if he didn't know for certain he's the third. ] Who are they?
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[Those two life ruiners.] The boar has been so eager to meet you. It’s been bugging him for ages, not knowing who our last soulmate was. [Why couldn’t it be him in this position? At least Felix is starting to calm down now that he’s had his outburst. He’s still angry, but it’s calming down to a simmer just below his skin.]
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He tries reaching for Felix again, but slower this time. If his touch is still unwelcome, then Felix can avoid him without issue. ] I suppose that makes sense. I've been curious, too, for as long as I can remember.
But, Felix... [ His words are still rattling around in his head. "I don't want three fucking soulmates." ] Are you okay? With me, I mean.
[ He looks down at the floor. ] I- if you rather pretend we're not soulmates, that's... [ well. it doesn't feel okay. but. ] I don't want to lose our friendship because of this.
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[Except it does.] It doesn't matter who - I'd be mad regardless.
I don't want to lose our friendship either. I'm - [Felix grits his teeth. Hides behind his fist again. He feels so stupid admitting this but he knows he's hurt Ashe enough. Put him through enough of an emotional rollercoaster already with his hot and cold reactions.] I'm more mad that I have to share you now.
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I don't know if it helps to hear this, but... you'll always be special to me, Felix. [ He says, soft and earnest, and gives him a small smile. ]
Even after I get to know Dedue and... the boar [ He hesitates at that. It doesn't feel great, calling someone he doesn't know a name like that. ] that won't change.
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[It does, though. Because Ashe is special to Felix and his words do help a little.]
That's - but, thank you.... [A pause.] Maybe I am - I'm happy it's you.
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I'm happy it's you, too. [ He reaches his other hand for Felix's - he won't force down the wall he's created with his fist, but he'll touch it with a warm, gentle hand. ] Like I told you before, I admire you. Honestly, I feel pretty lucky...
[ The sentence trails off with a nervous little chuckle. ] Can I ask you another question?