[ During their days at Garreg Mach Monastery, Ashe often had his nose buried deep in a book. Over and over again, he read tales of Loog and Kyphon, and other knights from Faerghus's past. He wanted to be just like them - wanted the strength to protect, to bring justice to a world filled with strife and conflict. And, with Caspar by his side, he's able to do just that.
After the war's end, he and Caspar packed their bags and set off into the world. With no definite goal in mind beyond "punish those who preyed upon the helpless" (shared by both of them) and "stay out of trouble as much as possible" (seemingly only upheld by ashe), they spend most of their days wandering with only the company of each other.
Ashe has read many books with this premise - an unlikely duo joins forces to save the world, and end up falling in love and spending the rest of their lives together. It's practically the story of his life now, except for one tiny, tiny detail.
Ashe is in love with Caspar - but, as far as he knows, Caspar doesn't feel the same.
Not that he's ever tried to clue him in on his feelings (he's been harboring this crush for a while now), but, well... unlike him, Caspar is bold and brave. He's never hesitated to speak his mind before, so if he had feelings for him, surely he would've loudly proclaimed them by now. But things haven't changed a bit for them, even after leaving the monastery - they still sleep side-by-side, like they did during marches, and overfeed any stray cats they pass by in towns. Their relationship is comfortable as is, and Ashe doesn't want to ruin it.
But at the same time, keeping his feelings to himself feels... dishonest. He doesn't know what the future will bring, but if he's learned anything during his 22 years of life, it's that he can't afford to hesitate to tell those he loves that he loves them. Even if Caspar never looks at him the same again, he'd regret not saying anything so much more.
It's taken him a few days to work himself up to the task, but he feels as ready as he'll ever be. Tonight - this ordinary night, where they've decided to set up camp near the edge of a forest, with the stars clear above them - is the night he's going to tell Caspar he loves him.
Though his heart's pounding a mile a minute in his chest, he still manages to smile easily at Caspar as he returns from a trip into the woods to gather firewood for the evening (and to give himself a last-minute pep talk). ] Thanks for setting up the tent, Caspar - once we get the fire started, I can make us some dinner. [ He sets the wood down, then begins fishing through his bag for some flint. ] Do you know if we still have some of that meat we got from the butcher? I could probably make a stew with that, with some of the vegetables that lady gave us.
[Here's the thing: Caspar knows Ashe is in love him him, and he loves him in return. He loves his boyfriend that he is currently definitely dating!
Sure they've never really out and said it, but he figured that was unnecessary. Ashe knows him better than anyone. And even Caspar can read some of the meaningful looks passed between them. They sleep side by side! They overfeed and adopt the stray cats they come across like they're their children. They're totally a couple.]
Oh, man, I think we do. I sure hope we do. I'm starvin'! [He starts rifling through their reserve bags.] I'll cut it up if you do veggies. [It wont be pretty cuts but it'll be cut and that's what matters.]
[ Ashe chuckles, warm and affectionate, and moves a safe distance away so he can get the fire burning. ]
Of course. It'll be just a minute... [ (one of these days, he's going to teach caspar how to cook. not that he minds taking the lead - it's something he's always enjoyed, but... it's an important life skill. yes, he knows from experience that him and flames are a bad combination, but surely now that they're older and entirely responsible for their own well-being, things will go more smoothly!)
When they began their journey, Ashe had his doubts about being able to fall into a comfortable rhythm with Caspar. But now, with the sounds of the campfire crackling, their knives chopping, and their easy, casual chatter, he feels at ease. At home, even, despite the lack of a proper roof over his head.
Once all the work is done and the stew bubbles away over the fire, Ashe bundles up in one of their spare blankets and settles next to Caspar. He lets himself lean slightly against his arm, but nothing more - even though the urge to drop his head on his shoulder is there. ] Hey, Caspar. Can I ask you something?
[Caspar doesn't think it gets much better than this. Being cuddled up in front of an open fire with the one person he loves the most. Out in the wilderness with the world at their fingertips. Eating a meal they made together ("together" used loosely). He couldn't ask for more. He wouldn't know what more to ask for if even given the chance.]
[ Ashe turns his head toward Caspar - watches the flames dance in his bright blue eyes. ]
When you invited me to travel with you, I didn't really think about it. I just said yes, because I knew I wanted to stay with you. [ Because the thought of returning to Gaspard alone scared him. He'd gotten so used to having Caspar by his side that imagining a future without him was impossible. And he couldn't ask him to stay - not when that free spirit of his that he admires so greatly calls for him to be just that. Free. Not tied down by land or titles.
He loves him too much to ever ask him for that. ] But I've been wondering... why did you ask me, of all people? N- not that I have any regrets! Just... [ How does he say this? ] if Linhardt didn't get married, I would've thought you'd ask him.
What are you talking about? You "of all people"? [Caspar frowns, though not at all upset.
The way he sees it, he did essentially the same thing as Linhardt. He gets to spend the rest of the days with the person he loves - just without the marriage bit because he's never cared for or had to worry about that obligation.] I asked you because I don't want to be with anyone else. I thought that was obvious.
[ (him "of all people" because caspar has many other friends. not many that would throw their futures into the wind like this, yes, but his point still stands.) ]
I know that you care a lot about me. I see that every day we're together. [ Under the blanket, he wrings his hands together. ] But I feel like I haven't been honest with you. [ His smile wavers. ] I kept things from you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but I can't anymore. I want to tell you the truth, even if you hate me for it.
[ He takes a little breath. Here goes nothing. ] When I say I want to stay with you, I mean as more than just friends. I... I love you, Caspar. And I want us to be together - romantically.
[As Ashe talks, Caspar begins to feel uncharacteristically scared. He’s not the best at reading the mood, but even he can tell this is going south. This isn’t good – Ashe is gonna leave him, isn’t he? Oh geez, what had he done – they didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but he didn’t think they had disagreed on something so grievous that warranted a ........
a confession?
Wait, what.
Caspar tilts his head, almost comically in confusion.] Aren’t we already together..... romantically?
[ Ashe expects rejection - a flurry of movement to pull away from him, and some loud words - so to hear that burst of laughter and effortless "I love you" in return has him turning beet red in record time.
He chokes out ] You knew? [ then proceeds to try and hide his face in his blanket. Did he really hear him right? He loves him too? And he thought they were already together? ] But you never told me...!
[ Ashe is arguably one of the most skilled archers in all of Fodlan, a war hero, and an aspiration for many. But right now all he can do is whine in the face of his confession not going as planned. ] I didn't know you felt the same...
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After the war's end, he and Caspar packed their bags and set off into the world. With no definite goal in mind beyond "punish those who preyed upon the helpless" (shared by both of them) and "stay out of trouble as much as possible" (seemingly only upheld by ashe), they spend most of their days wandering with only the company of each other.
Ashe has read many books with this premise - an unlikely duo joins forces to save the world, and end up falling in love and spending the rest of their lives together. It's practically the story of his life now, except for one tiny, tiny detail.
Ashe is in love with Caspar - but, as far as he knows, Caspar doesn't feel the same.
Not that he's ever tried to clue him in on his feelings (he's been harboring this crush for a while now), but, well... unlike him, Caspar is bold and brave. He's never hesitated to speak his mind before, so if he had feelings for him, surely he would've loudly proclaimed them by now. But things haven't changed a bit for them, even after leaving the monastery - they still sleep side-by-side, like they did during marches, and overfeed any stray cats they pass by in towns. Their relationship is comfortable as is, and Ashe doesn't want to ruin it.
But at the same time, keeping his feelings to himself feels... dishonest. He doesn't know what the future will bring, but if he's learned anything during his 22 years of life, it's that he can't afford to hesitate to tell those he loves that he loves them. Even if Caspar never looks at him the same again, he'd regret not saying anything so much more.
It's taken him a few days to work himself up to the task, but he feels as ready as he'll ever be. Tonight - this ordinary night, where they've decided to set up camp near the edge of a forest, with the stars clear above them - is the night he's going to tell Caspar he loves him.
Though his heart's pounding a mile a minute in his chest, he still manages to smile easily at Caspar as he returns from a trip into the woods to gather firewood for the evening (and to give himself a last-minute pep talk). ] Thanks for setting up the tent, Caspar - once we get the fire started, I can make us some dinner. [ He sets the wood down, then begins fishing through his bag for some flint. ] Do you know if we still have some of that meat we got from the butcher? I could probably make a stew with that, with some of the vegetables that lady gave us.
no subject
Sure they've never really out and said it, but he figured that was unnecessary. Ashe knows him better than anyone. And even Caspar can read some of the meaningful looks passed between them. They sleep side by side! They overfeed and adopt the stray cats they come across like they're their children. They're totally a couple.]
Oh, man, I think we do. I sure hope we do. I'm starvin'! [He starts rifling through their reserve bags.] I'll cut it up if you do veggies. [It wont be pretty cuts but it'll be cut and that's what matters.]
no subject
Of course. It'll be just a minute... [ (one of these days, he's going to teach caspar how to cook. not that he minds taking the lead - it's something he's always enjoyed, but... it's an important life skill. yes, he knows from experience that him and flames are a bad combination, but surely now that they're older and entirely responsible for their own well-being, things will go more smoothly!)
When they began their journey, Ashe had his doubts about being able to fall into a comfortable rhythm with Caspar. But now, with the sounds of the campfire crackling, their knives chopping, and their easy, casual chatter, he feels at ease. At home, even, despite the lack of a proper roof over his head.
Once all the work is done and the stew bubbles away over the fire, Ashe bundles up in one of their spare blankets and settles next to Caspar. He lets himself lean slightly against his arm, but nothing more - even though the urge to drop his head on his shoulder is there. ] Hey, Caspar. Can I ask you something?
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Yeah? What's up?
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When you invited me to travel with you, I didn't really think about it. I just said yes, because I knew I wanted to stay with you. [ Because the thought of returning to Gaspard alone scared him. He'd gotten so used to having Caspar by his side that imagining a future without him was impossible. And he couldn't ask him to stay - not when that free spirit of his that he admires so greatly calls for him to be just that. Free. Not tied down by land or titles.
He loves him too much to ever ask him for that. ] But I've been wondering... why did you ask me, of all people? N- not that I have any regrets! Just... [ How does he say this? ] if Linhardt didn't get married, I would've thought you'd ask him.
no subject
The way he sees it, he did essentially the same thing as Linhardt. He gets to spend the rest of the days with the person he loves - just without the marriage bit because he's never cared for or had to worry about that obligation.] I asked you because I don't want to be with anyone else. I thought that was obvious.
no subject
I know that you care a lot about me. I see that every day we're together. [ Under the blanket, he wrings his hands together. ] But I feel like I haven't been honest with you. [ His smile wavers. ] I kept things from you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but I can't anymore. I want to tell you the truth, even if you hate me for it.
[ He takes a little breath. Here goes nothing. ] When I say I want to stay with you, I mean as more than just friends. I... I love you, Caspar. And I want us to be together - romantically.
no subject
a confession?
Wait, what.
Caspar tilts his head, almost comically in confusion.] Aren’t we already together..... romantically?
no subject
You had me really scared for a moment!!
no subject
He chokes out ] You knew? [ then proceeds to try and hide his face in his blanket. Did he really hear him right? He loves him too? And he thought they were already together? ] But you never told me...!
[ Ashe is arguably one of the most skilled archers in all of Fodlan, a war hero, and an aspiration for many. But right now all he can do is whine in the face of his confession not going as planned. ] I didn't know you felt the same...