[Dimitri can’t say for certain why Felix has begun pushing himself and the others away – but he has an idea that is only reaffirmed by Felix’s soft answer. He’d never ask to confirm it outright , though, so he can only sit and wonder and hurt that his best friend wants nothing to do with him anymore. He can only persistently try to walk the same path as Felix whether he likes it or not, because Dimitri is bound by his duty and his deep love for Felix.]
That doesn’t mean you don’t want to. [Dimitri breathes sharp through his noise, like he’d been holding his breath.] Regardless, my point still stands. Most everyone’s very excited for it and it won’t do any harm.
You don’t have to indulge everyone who asks with a dance
I'm not. [ So far, he's only promised a dance to Mercedes and Annette, because Annette wouldn't let him say no and Mercedes was in earshot when Felix finally caved and agreed. ] But that doesn't stop them from asking for a dance. Or for me to accompany them to the Goddess Tower.
[ (he imagines when he was younger, softer, more able to express his emotions, he might've enjoyed the mystique of the goddess tower. he might've even asked dimitri to accompany him so they could wish to stay together, for the rest of their long and happy lives. but there's no wish now that the goddess can grant for him - nothing that he can't grasp at with his own two hands, anyway.) ]
They don't get that I want nothing to do with this.
[Something hot and uncomfortable settles in Dimitri's stomach when he thinks about Felix going to the Goddess Tower with anyone. It's jealous and mean. Dimitri chews the inside of his cheek.]
Then I suppose you're best off doing just this; hiding away until it's over.
[ And before Dimitri can comment further, he takes the opportunity given to him by the cat and leaves the stables without another word. He's already exposed himself (his emotions) too much in one day - he has to resume "hiding away", as Dimitri put it, before anything else slips.
Before he focuses too hard on his words. As he presses his back against the door to his room, Dimitri's voice rings in his ears, louder than his demons.
"Don't you ever want to forget?"
"That doesn't mean you don't want to."
Damn him - damn him for knowing him so well, for caring about him no matter how aggressively he shoves him away. And damn himself, too, for his weakness.
Because despite himself - despite how he continues to duck out of class the second the professor dismisses them for the day and sourly complains about the ball - he... doesn't want to back out of his promise to Annette and Mercedes. Goddess knows he'd never hear the end of it if he tried, anyway.
But there is an issue with that: Felix doesn't know how to dance. His footwork on the battlefield doesn't translate to the ballroom. He's well aware that, without practice, he will make a fool of himself on the night of the ball. (he still will, probably - it's not like he can become an expert overnight - but he'd like to think he could gain enough muscle memory to at least be passable.)
When it comes to potential practice partners, though, his options are limited. Annette and Mercedes are far too busy roping Ingrid into girly things for him to ask for their time, Ashe is meek as a lamb around him and would probably faint, and Sylvain... no. No way. So while his final choice isn't too great, it's the best he has.
At the end of class, Felix remains in his seat for once, and addresses Dimitri next to him. ] I heard the professor chose you to be our representative for the White Heron Cup. [ The news came as a bit of a relief to Felix - thank the goddess they didn't choose him - but he still wonders if Byleth has fish bait for brains. Dimitri might be charming, but he's... hopeless, to put it bluntly. ] How confident are you that you'll win?
Dimitri has a great deal of respect for the professor but he cannot possibly fathom why they thought it was a good idea to choose him, Dimitri "can't wield most weapons without breaking them" Alexandre "has all the grace of a knobbly newborn foal" Blaiddyd, to be the representative for the White Heron Cup. He's not even that charming!! His battalion only barely tolerates him because he has skill on his side!
So, perhaps, Dimitri is look forward to the ball slightly less than he was before and he doesn't at all appreciate Felix bringing it up. He had hoped Felix was sticking around after class to have an actual conversation with him. Something. Anything but this. But no. Dimitri lets his head fall into his hands, tired and embarrassed, with a groan. At least Felix isn't teasing him... yet.... ] Please... The professor has been giving me lessons so perhaps I won't be a total failure.
[The only way he can turn this competition around is if he's up against someone like Raphael and Hubert. And even then, Raph could win with his personality and Hubert can scare his way into the ranks. He's doomed.]
[ At least Felix has no intention of teasing him over this. He's not the type, and, well. If he were more confident in his ability to dance, he wouldn't be asking Dimitri of all people this particular favor.
He looks toward the chalk board, still covered with notes from Byleth's lecture. ] If you're so uncertain, maybe you need to practice more. [ (because, really, if dimitri really puts his mind into it, he'll succeed. that's just the kind of person he is.) ] Try dancing with me.
[ ... it's not quite asking for a favor, but it's something? ]
[Dimitri cannot hide the surprise on his face and he doesn't even try. Trying to get Felix to have a simple conversation with him is sometimes like pulling teeth, and Felix had been rather unhappy with Dimitri last they spoke as well. Now he's asking to dance with Dimitri?]
I'm sorry? Come again?
[He must have blacked out for a moment. He hasn't been sleeping well.]
[ Felix scowls - not that Dimitri can see that clearly, as he turns his head even further from him. ]
You heard me. [ It's not that he doesn't understand the surprise. This is, after all, coming out of nowhere. But dammit, doesn't Dimitri realize this is incredibly difficult for him? He should've just said "yes" and not questioned it!!!! ] I'm doing you a favor.
[ because acting like you're being kind is clearly better than honesty, felix. ]
[He’s... doing him a favor? But Felix is no better at dancing than he-
Oh.
The realization of what Felix is truly asking of Dimitri slowly dawns on him. With that realization comes a gentle smile that Dimitri can’t seem to control. Thank the saints Felix is turned away from him even if it’s clear in his voice.] Of course. You’re right. My apologies.
We have time before we’re due for any chores. Would you care to get some practice in now? [Most students should be in the dining hall by now. Dimitri is sure they can find some privacy to practice in.]
[ Felix hears that smile in his voice (happiness. fondness.) and he almost takes back his words out of sheer embarrassment. But he swallows his pride and rises to his feet before either of them can linger on their thoughts for too long. ]
Might as well. You need all the help you can get. [ and, y'know, he's being So Generous with his time, blah blah blah.
As Dimitri predicted, most of the students are eating to their heart and stomach's content in the dining hall. But for the few that glance their way, well. It's not completely unusual to see Felix and Dimitri together. After all, they're in the same class, and it's no secret they're childhood friends.
Felix keeps a few steps in front of Dimitri, only stopping to turn sharply on his heel and face him when they are sufficiently alone. ]
Hmph. I suppose this place is good enough. [ After an awkward beat, he holds a hand out for Dimitri to take. ] Well? [ Dance with him already. ]
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That doesn’t mean you don’t want to. [Dimitri breathes sharp through his noise, like he’d been holding his breath.] Regardless, my point still stands. Most everyone’s very excited for it and it won’t do any harm.
You don’t have to indulge everyone who asks with a dance
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[ (he imagines when he was younger, softer, more able to express his emotions, he might've enjoyed the mystique of the goddess tower. he might've even asked dimitri to accompany him so they could wish to stay together, for the rest of their long and happy lives. but there's no wish now that the goddess can grant for him - nothing that he can't grasp at with his own two hands, anyway.) ]
They don't get that I want nothing to do with this.
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Then I suppose you're best off doing just this; hiding away until it's over.
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[ And before Dimitri can comment further, he takes the opportunity given to him by the cat and leaves the stables without another word. He's already exposed himself (his emotions) too much in one day - he has to resume "hiding away", as Dimitri put it, before anything else slips.
Before he focuses too hard on his words. As he presses his back against the door to his room, Dimitri's voice rings in his ears, louder than his demons.
"Don't you ever want to forget?"
"That doesn't mean you don't want to."
Damn him - damn him for knowing him so well, for caring about him no matter how aggressively he shoves him away. And damn himself, too, for his weakness.
Because despite himself - despite how he continues to duck out of class the second the professor dismisses them for the day and sourly complains about the ball - he... doesn't want to back out of his promise to Annette and Mercedes. Goddess knows he'd never hear the end of it if he tried, anyway.
But there is an issue with that: Felix doesn't know how to dance. His footwork on the battlefield doesn't translate to the ballroom. He's well aware that, without practice, he will make a fool of himself on the night of the ball. (he still will, probably - it's not like he can become an expert overnight - but he'd like to think he could gain enough muscle memory to at least be passable.)
When it comes to potential practice partners, though, his options are limited. Annette and Mercedes are far too busy roping Ingrid into girly things for him to ask for their time, Ashe is meek as a lamb around him and would probably faint, and Sylvain... no. No way. So while his final choice isn't too great, it's the best he has.
At the end of class, Felix remains in his seat for once, and addresses Dimitri next to him. ] I heard the professor chose you to be our representative for the White Heron Cup. [ The news came as a bit of a relief to Felix - thank the goddess they didn't choose him - but he still wonders if Byleth has fish bait for brains. Dimitri might be charming, but he's... hopeless, to put it bluntly. ] How confident are you that you'll win?
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Why him??
Dimitri has a great deal of respect for the professor but he cannot possibly fathom why they thought it was a good idea to choose him, Dimitri "can't wield most weapons without breaking them" Alexandre "has all the grace of a knobbly newborn foal" Blaiddyd, to be the representative for the White Heron Cup. He's not even that charming!! His battalion only barely tolerates him because he has skill on his side!
So, perhaps, Dimitri is look forward to the ball slightly less than he was before and he doesn't at all appreciate Felix bringing it up. He had hoped Felix was sticking around after class to have an actual conversation with him. Something. Anything but this. But no. Dimitri lets his head fall into his hands, tired and embarrassed, with a groan. At least Felix isn't teasing him... yet.... ] Please... The professor has been giving me lessons so perhaps I won't be a total failure.
[The only way he can turn this competition around is if he's up against someone like Raphael and Hubert. And even then, Raph could win with his personality and Hubert can scare his way into the ranks. He's doomed.]
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He looks toward the chalk board, still covered with notes from Byleth's lecture. ] If you're so uncertain, maybe you need to practice more. [ (because, really, if dimitri really puts his mind into it, he'll succeed. that's just the kind of person he is.) ] Try dancing with me.
[ ... it's not quite asking for a favor, but it's something? ]
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I'm sorry? Come again?
[He must have blacked out for a moment. He hasn't been sleeping well.]
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You heard me. [ It's not that he doesn't understand the surprise. This is, after all, coming out of nowhere. But dammit, doesn't Dimitri realize this is incredibly difficult for him? He should've just said "yes" and not questioned it!!!! ] I'm doing you a favor.
[ because acting like you're being kind is clearly better than honesty, felix. ]
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Oh.
The realization of what Felix is truly asking of Dimitri slowly dawns on him. With that realization comes a gentle smile that Dimitri can’t seem to control. Thank the saints Felix is turned away from him even if it’s clear in his voice.] Of course. You’re right. My apologies.
We have time before we’re due for any chores. Would you care to get some practice in now? [Most students should be in the dining hall by now. Dimitri is sure they can find some privacy to practice in.]
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Might as well. You need all the help you can get. [ and, y'know, he's being So Generous with his time, blah blah blah.
As Dimitri predicted, most of the students are eating to their heart and stomach's content in the dining hall. But for the few that glance their way, well. It's not completely unusual to see Felix and Dimitri together. After all, they're in the same class, and it's no secret they're childhood friends.
Felix keeps a few steps in front of Dimitri, only stopping to turn sharply on his heel and face him when they are sufficiently alone. ]
Hmph. I suppose this place is good enough. [ After an awkward beat, he holds a hand out for Dimitri to take. ] Well? [ Dance with him already. ]