[ Felix does not look back at him. (really, him, the sun of all things? there has to be a better analogy than that.) Instead, he slumps forward, forehead resting against Dimitri's shoulder.
But before he can panic about knocking him out a second time, he grumbles ] Be more careful next time, boar. [ As it turns out, the sensation of having teeth yanked out of him is just as weird and foreign.
He stares at the bloody mess that is his left hand. ] Are you satisfied?
[(in most lore, the sun is one of the few things that can kill vampires. felix is the only one who can kill dimitri)
And just like that, it's gone and Dimitri is back to being the boar. He's not terribly surprised and it doesn't change how he reacts. One arm around Felix’s shoulder, holding him to his shoulder, and his other hand still gently holding Felix's bloodied hand.] Yes. Thank you, Felix.
[He sounds so much more in control even to his own ears.] We need to get you to a healer. To Mercedes.
[Dimitri uses his cloak to wipe away the mess of blood smeared across his mouth and down his chin. Its not perfect but... they can make up some excuses.] I'm going to... is it okay to carry you?
[ Felix finds that he doesn't have the energy to protest. (that, and his body feels incredibly heavy now.) He lets Dimitri hold him close, and holds him in turn with his other hand. ] Fine. Just make it quick.
[ He closes his eyes as Dimitri moves off him and scoops him up in his arms like he weighs nothing at all. The reason is twofold: it's an attempt to stave off the dizziness and accompanying nausea, and to ignore any looks they might be getting as Dimitri carries him around the monastery. (he also doesn't have to look up at dimitri like this, which allows the messy tangle of emotions in his heart to start to melt a bit.) ]
[Mercedes doesn’t seem entirely convinced by their flimsy excuse that Felix had hurt himself while training. It didn’t explain the amount of blood he lost or why there were two odd puncture wounds just above the gash in his palm. But she helps Felix get settled in an infirmary bed nonetheless and takes his hand (which Dimitri is reluctant to let go of) in hers. She pours her white healing magic into him and Dimitri watches, mesmerized.
She can’t do anything for the blood loss; that’s all on Felix’s body, but she mixes together a cocktail of different powders into a tea for him to drink to help. And when Mercedes leaves, her hand slides over Dimitri’s shoulder and squeezes in a passing warning. Like a mother lion, she won’t let anyone hurt her cubs – not even the king. They will follow him and they’ve put their trust in him. But he’s on thin fucking ice.
Dimitri considers this. Sits. Puts considerable distance between himself and Felix. And waits.]
[ Around twenty minutes after Mercedes leaves the infirmary, Felix's eyes blink open. A look of confusion momentarily flickers across his face - he's in a bed? but this isn't his room? - before the haze of sleep fades from his mind and he remembers why he's here.
His body still feels sluggish and heavy, but he forces himself up to a seated position - and that's the moment he looks over and sees Dimitri, making his way over to his side to help. (he doesn't protest - the assistance is appreciated.) ] ... I thought you wouldn't have stuck around. [ Truthfully, a part of him expected Dimitri to have left him alone in shame, claiming that he had no right to be around Felix, or some bullshit like that. ]
I couldn't leave you like this. [Dimitri answers easily. Of course he feels ashamed of what he's done, but what Felix said is still fresh on his mind. If he'd have left Felix like nothing had happened at all, it would be the same as running away. And besides, he cares about Felix.] I have to take responsibility.
[Once Felix is upright and comfortable in bed, Dimitri offers Mercedes concoction to him.] Drink this. Mercedes said this would help with the blood loss.
[ Felix accepts the mug with a small nod. ] Thanks. [ It's both to Dimitri (for staying) and Mercedes (for everything else), even though only one of them is in the room.
He takes a slow sip of the concoction, and immediately wrinkles his nose. ] Ugh. [ He doesn't normally mind bitter tastes, but even this is a bit much for him. The fact that it's lukewarm now doesn't help matters, either.
But he still takes another drink (he trusts mercedes with his life and, more importantly, doesn't want to get on her bad side by ignoring her instructions) before bluntly addressing the elephant in the room. ]
Is this going to happen again? [ "This" meaning a lot of things: Dimitri's complete and total loss of control, drinking his blood... and him speaking through his actions, like he'd asked him to do to atone for his father's death. ]
[That is a question Dimitri can’t answer as easily. It’s a loaded question that can’t be solved with a yes or no. Because, no, doesn’t want to lose control again but that means that ,yes, he will have to drink blood again. No, he doesn’t want to drink Felix’s – or anyone’s - blood again, but if he doesn’t, he will lose control again.
Dimitri squirms and backs himself up against the wall, away from Felix.] I can’t – I don’t know how to answer that.
I need to drink blood. [And what more can he say than that.]
[ ... okay, now he regrets letting Dimitri step away, because he can't slap him upside the head for this.
Felix pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs very, very heavily. ] You starve yourself for weeks, and you're surprised you lost control? [ Oh my god, the king's an idiot. ] How often did you drink before?
[Okay, when he puts it that way of course Dimitri sounds like an idiot.]
Once a week... sometimes more. But I was feeding indiscriminately. Bandits, soldiers, innocents caught in the crossfire – whoever I could get my hands on when the mood struck! I don’t want to do that anymore.
I'm only here because you waited too long. [ And the fact that he more or less cut his hand open, but details.
He sets down his mug, now drained of its gross remedy, and stares down at his hand. ] Look, I get you don't want to hurt anyone. But if you lose control of yourself again you'll only be a danger to yourself, and the rest of us.
Besides, I already know who you are. [ "A beast, craving blood."
His hand curls, slow and careful. ] If you don't want to get anyone else involved, I'm your only option.
[Dimitri hates that he's right. Getting anyone involved doesn't feel good. Especially Felix. But, he's right.
Felix has been the only one to see who he is from the beginning. He's the only one who knows. Will ever know, maybe. Felix is the only one who will tell him 'no.' Who is willing to contest him in order to aide him. To tame him.
As ever, Felix is the only one he can trust.]
Right as always. [He turns his gaze to the floor, shaking his head.] Then please... allow me to rely on you.
[ Despite Dimitri's reservations (and his own - he's still readjusting to dimitri's humanity, his softer sides, that little smile of his that he adored as a kid) he's... strangely happy. He doesn't smile, but there's a bit of warmth in his expression that wasn't previously there. ]
It's about time you relied on us. [ mister I Want To Take Down The Adrestian Empire By Myself And Most Definitely Die Trying ]
[Dimitri doesn't have anything to say to that. He relied on them - Felix - plenty as kids. Maybe not in the way Felix wanted, but he tried and Felix never took his hand. And now Dimitri doesn't want to rely on them (him) but he has no choice.]
Ah. [Eventually, Dimitri perks as if he's remembered something.] I have one condition.
[ ... yeah, that's not the best way to phrase it. But it's definitely the most Dimitri way of doing so.
He sighs, and looks at a very interesting spot on the wall off to the side. ] Fine. Just don't go overboard. [ He can't argue too much when Dimitri will be, in a sense, injuring him every time he feeds. ]
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But before he can panic about knocking him out a second time, he grumbles ] Be more careful next time, boar. [ As it turns out, the sensation of having teeth yanked out of him is just as weird and foreign.
He stares at the bloody mess that is his left hand. ] Are you satisfied?
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And just like that, it's gone and Dimitri is back to being the boar. He's not terribly surprised and it doesn't change how he reacts. One arm around Felix’s shoulder, holding him to his shoulder, and his other hand still gently holding Felix's bloodied hand.] Yes. Thank you, Felix.
[He sounds so much more in control even to his own ears.] We need to get you to a healer. To Mercedes.
[Dimitri uses his cloak to wipe away the mess of blood smeared across his mouth and down his chin. Its not perfect but... they can make up some excuses.] I'm going to... is it okay to carry you?
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[ He closes his eyes as Dimitri moves off him and scoops him up in his arms like he weighs nothing at all. The reason is twofold: it's an attempt to stave off the dizziness and accompanying nausea, and to ignore any looks they might be getting as Dimitri carries him around the monastery. (he also doesn't have to look up at dimitri like this, which allows the messy tangle of emotions in his heart to start to melt a bit.) ]
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She can’t do anything for the blood loss; that’s all on Felix’s body, but she mixes together a cocktail of different powders into a tea for him to drink to help. And when Mercedes leaves, her hand slides over Dimitri’s shoulder and squeezes in a passing warning. Like a mother lion, she won’t let anyone hurt her cubs – not even the king. They will follow him and they’ve put their trust in him. But he’s on thin fucking ice.
Dimitri considers this. Sits. Puts considerable distance between himself and Felix. And waits.]
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His body still feels sluggish and heavy, but he forces himself up to a seated position - and that's the moment he looks over and sees Dimitri, making his way over to his side to help. (he doesn't protest - the assistance is appreciated.) ] ... I thought you wouldn't have stuck around. [ Truthfully, a part of him expected Dimitri to have left him alone in shame, claiming that he had no right to be around Felix, or some bullshit like that. ]
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[Once Felix is upright and comfortable in bed, Dimitri offers Mercedes concoction to him.] Drink this. Mercedes said this would help with the blood loss.
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He takes a slow sip of the concoction, and immediately wrinkles his nose. ] Ugh. [ He doesn't normally mind bitter tastes, but even this is a bit much for him. The fact that it's lukewarm now doesn't help matters, either.
But he still takes another drink (he trusts mercedes with his life and, more importantly, doesn't want to get on her bad side by ignoring her instructions) before bluntly addressing the elephant in the room. ]
Is this going to happen again? [ "This" meaning a lot of things: Dimitri's complete and total loss of control, drinking his blood... and him speaking through his actions, like he'd asked him to do to atone for his father's death. ]
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Dimitri squirms and backs himself up against the wall, away from Felix.] I can’t – I don’t know how to answer that.
I need to drink blood. [And what more can he say than that.]
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Are you always that hungry? [ "If you let me go, I will hurt them." How true are those words? ]
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Since [Dimitri braces himself.] Grondor Field.
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Felix pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs very, very heavily. ] You starve yourself for weeks, and you're surprised you lost control? [ Oh my god, the king's an idiot. ] How often did you drink before?
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Once a week... sometimes more. But I was feeding indiscriminately. Bandits, soldiers, innocents caught in the crossfire – whoever I could get my hands on when the mood struck! I don’t want to do that anymore.
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Drink my blood instead.
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Dimitri straightens. Clenches his fists at his side.]
That’s not any better. Or are you unaware of where you are right now?
[Y’know, just passed out. Drinking some gross remedy for blood loss.]
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He sets down his mug, now drained of its gross remedy, and stares down at his hand. ] Look, I get you don't want to hurt anyone. But if you lose control of yourself again you'll only be a danger to yourself, and the rest of us.
Besides, I already know who you are. [ "A beast, craving blood."
His hand curls, slow and careful. ] If you don't want to get anyone else involved, I'm your only option.
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Felix has been the only one to see who he is from the beginning. He's the only one who knows. Will ever know, maybe. Felix is the only one who will tell him 'no.' Who is willing to contest him in order to aide him. To tame him.
As ever, Felix is the only one he can trust.]
Right as always. [He turns his gaze to the floor, shaking his head.] Then please... allow me to rely on you.
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It's about time you relied on us. [ mister I Want To Take Down The Adrestian Empire By Myself And Most Definitely Die Trying ]
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Ah. [Eventually, Dimitri perks as if he's remembered something.] I have one condition.
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Why? I'm not gaining anything from this. [ he's doing this for you?????? ]
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Just hear me out. [His one condition is not a selfish one.] Afterwards, please let me take care of you.
[Probably not the best way to phrase it, but it is the most honest.]
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He sighs, and looks at a very interesting spot on the wall off to the side. ] Fine. Just don't go overboard. [ He can't argue too much when Dimitri will be, in a sense, injuring him every time he feeds. ]
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Thank you. I-I'll feel a little better if I can do that at least.