Laslow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chaines) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
volkamenia2016-07-15 09:50 pm
chaines) wrote in volkamenia2016-07-15 09:50 pm
the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out [laslow + leo, post birthright]
[ A feeling has settled in the pit of Laslow's stomach - made its residence there, heavy like lead and twisting his insides. It hurts more than the weapons that had pierced his body during his final battle as Lord Xander's retainer, brought him straight to death's door...
but he had been rejected then. He lives, despite nearly bleeding out on the combat room floor. And how cruel fate was, in his eyes, to not take his life instead of theirs, to let a veteran of now three wars continue to draw breath instead of the crown prince of Nohr or a girl whose past had been far too cruel to her.
Xander and Peri are dead, but Laslow is alive. Confined to a hospital bed still after over a week of rest (if he could call it that, when their faces and voices haunt his dreams and he wakes up every time crying), but undoubtedly his heart beats inside his chest. Laslow can't help but despise this fact - while Selena and Odin visit frequently, and clerics he can't bother to learn the names of were always within shouting distance, he's often left in silence, and to his thoughts. In his head he replays that day over and over again, an infinite loop in his mind: what could he have done differently? Should he have listened to Xander and stayed in the room? Should he have acted faster, drawn his blade before anyone else could've?
Why couldn't he have saved the one most near and dear to his heart again?
Realistically speaking, he's not alone: people still roam the halls of Castle Krakenburg, filling the air with as much energy and life as they could after the loss of the war, of the king, a prince, a princess. But the only companionship he feels is that of guilt and mourning, their intensity rivaled only by the grief he felt after the death of his parents.
He keeps his head lowered, knuckles white as he clutches the bedsheets, and feels the all too familiar sting of tears in his eyes. ]
but he had been rejected then. He lives, despite nearly bleeding out on the combat room floor. And how cruel fate was, in his eyes, to not take his life instead of theirs, to let a veteran of now three wars continue to draw breath instead of the crown prince of Nohr or a girl whose past had been far too cruel to her.
Xander and Peri are dead, but Laslow is alive. Confined to a hospital bed still after over a week of rest (if he could call it that, when their faces and voices haunt his dreams and he wakes up every time crying), but undoubtedly his heart beats inside his chest. Laslow can't help but despise this fact - while Selena and Odin visit frequently, and clerics he can't bother to learn the names of were always within shouting distance, he's often left in silence, and to his thoughts. In his head he replays that day over and over again, an infinite loop in his mind: what could he have done differently? Should he have listened to Xander and stayed in the room? Should he have acted faster, drawn his blade before anyone else could've?
Why couldn't he have saved the one most near and dear to his heart again?
Realistically speaking, he's not alone: people still roam the halls of Castle Krakenburg, filling the air with as much energy and life as they could after the loss of the war, of the king, a prince, a princess. But the only companionship he feels is that of guilt and mourning, their intensity rivaled only by the grief he felt after the death of his parents.
He keeps his head lowered, knuckles white as he clutches the bedsheets, and feels the all too familiar sting of tears in his eyes. ]
no subject
Not that he's going anywhere now, with the pain he's in. And there's more than just fear occupying his mind - despite everything else, he worries about Leo. Not just because he's Xander's younger brother (though he'd be lying to himself if that wasn't a factor somewhere), but genuinely, because he's dear to Odin, a good person, probably (understandably) hurt deeply by the war. And even if he'd rather him killed for treason, for betraying Nohr by not saving Xander, he still wants to help in any way he can.
He wipes the tears away from his eyes with the heel of his hand and replies, willing himself to calm down. ] A- alright.
[ Good thing he's not trying to convince Leo he's okay, because he's probably already managed to fail at that.
Once Leo's in the room, Laslow looks up at him. The exhaustion is noticeable in his face, in the dark circles under his eyes and the unruliness of his hair. His attempt at his usual smile only brings the corners of his mouth up a smidge before dropping back down, the effort of acting chipper too much for him. ] What brings you here, Lord Leo?
[ "King Leo", his brain corrects, but he remains quiet about his mistake - the coronation wasn't too long ago, and he wasn't sure how Leo might react to the former to-be king's retainer calling him a title that, under good circumstances, he wouldn't be bearing so young. ]