volkamenia | twenty-two years young [yaku/sugawara, single dad au]

twenty-two years young [yaku/sugawara, single dad au]

[ There's a feeling of exhaustion that's long since settled deep in Yaku's bones and leaves him wondering just how he could have aged so much in the years since graduating from Nekoma High School. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday he was playing as their volleyball team's libero, and the most he had to worry about was how to best keep the underclassmen (and Kuroo, sometimes) in line - and sometimes he finds himself wishing that it were just yesterday, that his life since graduation was just one giant stress dream and he'd wake up to a phone call from a teammate telling him to get to the gym, he's thirty minutes late and counting. But he's here, not there, with a little girl tugging softly on his hand and leading him toward a building that, despite its kid-friendliness, leaves little knots forming in the pit of his stomach.

After all, who would expect to enroll in a university to get a degree and come out a parent of a young child? Maybe it'd be less shocking for someone less responsible than he was (is, continues to try to be), but this is Yaku's life since then - a life he's kept secret from most (Kuroo and Kai were reluctantly let in, and even that he regrets), under control, for the sake of his family, his now ex-wife, himself.

(not that there was anyone to blame but himself for everything that happened during those four years - he should've been more careful, should've been a better boyfriend - a better husband, for the little amount of time that lasted - should've should've should've

should've done so much more

could he have saved the sinking ship that was his relationship if he could've been more than he was?)

He's done his best to raise Kaori on his own - his parents frowned upon him the moment he and his then fiancee bowed before them, announcing their engagement, and he's far too proud to ask for help otherwise - but with work getting busier and Kaori getting more anxious to meet people her age, well. All-day daycare's one of the few options he has, and the most appealing.

He squeezes Kaori's hand gently - a gesture he tells himself is for her benefit, but is actually for his own, for a father not eager to let his child leave the nest. ] Here we go... [ Yaku slides the door open and steps inside the daycare. ]

Hello?

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[Sugawara hadn’t continued volleyball after graduating Karasuno. He played on the community team when he had time but his days at university had been mostly dedicated to his major, early childhood education and development. He had stayed focused on his schooling, with not a lot of room for much else. While he had dated around a little, it had been very little and none of the relationships were very committed. He had a goal set in mind and stuck to it.

It left behind a sort of empty feeling, but it had been well worth it. The hard work had landed him this job at a daycare which he’d been working for a year and thoroughly enjoyed. To this day, he loves working with the kids and watching them light up as they learn and grow. He’s happy to be getting ready for a new day, with plans bouncing around in his head as kids and their parents start filing in for the day.

He’s ducked in front of a cubby when he hears the door open again and the faint call of a man, so he drops his task at hand in favor of looking up to see who entered. He’s going to stand up and greet them but then he stops in his tracks when he actually sees the supposed parent. Is that…. Yaku Morisuke? It can’t be.

Suga grasps for his roster and slides down the list of names until, yup he sees it:「Yaku Kaori」, a new addition to the daycare. But, he thinks, there’s more than one Yaku in Japan. Surely. So, he takes a couple more flips to reach the parent information and emergency contact sheets. And there it is,「Yaku Morisuke」 written with the same kanji he can remember as the one from Nekoma. Suga squints though, seeing that he’s listed under the parent information and it’s partly his work information under the emergency contact as well.

If it was the Yaku he knows, he would assume the little girl was his niece (did Yaku even have siblings though) or something. Not his own child. Not that he has any right to make assumptions.

After all, he hadn’t kept in contact with Yaku after high school, though he was sure he had intended to. But once university started it was hard enough for Suga to even get ahold of Daichi, let alone someone from another school in a completely different city. And so many years later, Suga had not expected to see Yaku again. It makes him a little nervous.

Suga rose completely from behind the desk, timidly, but still with his best smile.]

Ah, hello! Welcome —

[He greets, but something stops him from saying anything further. He almost feels like he’s in high school again, with the uncertain twist in his gut.]

[ The knots in Yaku's stomach, meanwhile, only tighten, and were he the type to run he'd surely have bolted out the door by now. There's no mistaking it. Sure, they're older now, out of university and expected to be full-fledged adults, but that voice (and that smile) is still so distinctly Sugawara. Yaku never really forgot him, despite the time that'd passed since their respective third years of high school - he and Nishinoya left quite an impression, and at times he caught himself wondering how they were doing. But to see him again, and now of all times?

Well. It's certainly a stroke of luck. Good or bad, there's still some time to figure that out.

Before he could get too lost in the past, though, a little tug on his sleeve reminds him why he's here in the first place. Right. Kaori. His mind buzzes with multiple things he can say to Sugawara (to his daughter's new teacher, presumably), but when he gets to the desk only one word manages to get past his lips, in a tone filled with both surprise and hesitancy: ] Suga-kun?

[Ah. That's the last confirmation Suga needs. Suddenly there's a bubbling of excitement replacing the twist in his gut. There are still remnants of nervousness left, especially hearing Yaku's tone, but a lot of it has turned to eagerness just to talk to the other man again. It had been far, far too long.

He rounds the cubbies to the entrance where the two are standing and he can feel his lips twitching into a bigger smile.]

Yes! That's you, right, Yaku-san? From Nekoma?

[But as excited as he is, Suga stops himself again. They're both there for a reason; Suga has his job to do. He can, hopefully, catch up with Yaku later. He turns his attention to the small girl at Yaku's side (his daughter. his daughter??)] And this is.. Kaori-chan?

What a surprise!

Ah... yes, that's right. [ Yaku responds, rubbing at the back of his neck. Thankfully Suga doesn't voice any of his assumptions. Goodness knows Yaku's heard his fair share of "you're so young"s and "oh, poor girl, she's going to be without a mother"s and the like over the past few years.

Said little girl is feeling a little shy at the moment - Kaori keeps a tight grip on her dad's sleeve as she looks up at Sugawara. ] Mm-hm. [ A small, polite nod. ] It's nice to meet you, sensei.

[Suga kneels down so he's about to Kaori's height and just beams at the girl.] It's nice to meet you too! You're gonna really like it here, I promise you. We're going to have a lot of fun.

[He looks back up at Yaku, slow to get back up because he has every intention of offering Kaori his hand to hold and introduce her into the group once he's finished speaking with Yaku.]

Um, I don't want to keep you; you're probably on your way to work. But, if you'd like, could we exchange information? [After meeting again after such a long time, Suga didn't want to lose this opportunity to keep in contact. But that little bit of nervousness was still biting at him.] Or, wait, will you be picking up Kaori-chan too? We can do it then. If you want.

[He's being way too forward and he knows it but yikes.]

[ Sugawara's forwardness is a little off-putting, yes, but Yaku can't say he minds it too much because it's Sugawara - someone Yaku's missed over the years, and has apparently missed him as well. It's scary and bittersweet and nice all at once, this realization that Suga wanted to talk again, beyond these daycare interactions.

(He can only hope that Suga's still as kind-hearted as he remembers him being - that everything Yaku's become since high school for whatever reason push him away.) ]

I don't mind. Here- [ He pulls out his phone, ready to ask "phone number or email address", but then he notices the time and oh no, oh no, shoot how did time pass like this. ] I, ah- I'm sorry, I'm running late.

[ Truthfully, he doesn't want to leave yet - he's reluctant to leave Kaori, reluctant to end this conversation on such an odd note - but it'd also be awkward to stay around for much longer. At the mention of "late" Kaori's hold on his sleeve finally (also reluctantly) loosens and he kneels down too to kiss her hair. ]

You be good to Sugawara-sensei, okay? [ Then, to Suga: ] I'm sorry, I lost track of time. I'll be back later to pick her up, though. If that's alright.

[ ... that didn't come out as he intended, but. rolling with it. ]

Oh! Oh, no, no, of course! [He waves his hands in dismissal of Yaku's apology.] Sorry, I - No, it's okay. Get going; I'll see you later, then.

And I'll take good care of her. [He beams again, in reference to Kaori. It's implied that he would since it's his job, but he wants to say it aloud for Yaku. It's more important that Yaku knows his precious girl will be in safe hands. Neither he or Kaori has anything to worry about.

Speaking of Kaori. Now Suga takes the opportunity to offer his hand for her to hold.] What do you say, Kaori-chan? I can show you where everything is and we can meet everybody else.

[And they all can really start their day.]

[ While implied, it's reassuring for Yaku to hear those words - for someone who worries a little too much about his child, who, above all else, doesn't want to make any more mistakes, the last thing he needs is a reason to doubt something like this.

He offers a small, relieved smile in return. ] Thank you, Suga-kun. [ ... ugh, stop dwelling already and head out!!! ] Have a good day, Kaori.

[ Once her dad's out of sight, the shyness returns full-force but Kaori nods quietly and wraps her hand around Suga's ring and pinky fingers. She'll break out of her shell soon, promise!! ]

[Suga waves goodbye to Yaku's retreating form, and with Kaori small hand now in his, he gives her a little squeeze. It'll all be a-okay.

And by the end of the day, Suga likes to think everything went as well as it could have. They had their ice breaker game ("tell us your name and then one thing you reaaaally like that starts with the same letter!") since there were a couple new kids alongside Kaori. Reading time, lunch, and naps seemed to go without a hitch aside from a couple spills and stubborn sleepers. But it was good; it left Suga feeling very good about the day and he could report so as parents slowly filed in to pick up their children.

There's still a small group left, but they are otherwise preoccupied with a made up game, so Suga's set about in collecting stray markers and crayons. While he's allowed to let his thoughts wander... he can't help thinking about Yaku again. It has been so long and... Suga's really, really eager to catch up with him.]

[ Like father, like daughter, it seems. Just as Yaku made quick friends with Sugawara back in high school, by the time lunch time rolls around Kaori is already attached to Sugawara. Only nap time is difficult for her - not because she didn't want to sleep, but because she wasn't used to sleeping around so many other kids. But that little bit aside, she's the least of his troubles.

Yaku's one of the last parents to arrive, and he looks tired. But any expression alluding to that fades quickly because - ]

Daddy!

[ because one Kaori Yaku's making her way over to him, to hug him around his legs. And he can't help but smile and bend down to kiss her hair. ] Hey, Kaori. Go get your stuff, okay?

[ And while she's off grabbing her things, he turns his attention to Sugawara. ] Was she... okay today, Suga-kun? [ No misbehaving? No loneliness? ]

[As it should be because Sugawara similarly finds himself enamored with the small girl near instantly. Seeing her throw herself to her father makes his heart clench warmly and smile despite himself. He sets the marker crate down so he can properly speak with Yaku.

He's honestly so impressed with Kaori. She was as good and respectful as Suga remembered her father being. And he had noticed her struggling a little with nap time, but he doesn't think it's worth mentioning just yet.]

Oh, she was wonderful. I think she's a little quiet, shy maybe, but most kids are when they first start.

[He smiles so hard, it reaches his eyes.] She's a really good kid, Yaku.

[ The smile on Sugawara's face, warm and bright and beautiful, makes Yaku's heart skip a couple of beats, and he can only hope none of that shows on his face. He sighs, releasing the breath he didn't realize he was holding. ]

That's a relief - thank you, Suga-kun. I was a little worried about her. [ "a little" is a bit of an understatement, but. ] She's not used to being in big groups like this, so I wasn't sure how she'd handle it.

[ He could honestly talk about Kaori (and not himself) for ages, oops. But before he forgets: ] - Ah. Here.

[ He pulls out a small notepad and pen from his breast pocket (so prepared for everything!!), jots something down, tears out the sheet, and hands it to Sugawara. ] You have my work number, but this is my cell and email address. [ Contact information, as promised! ]

She'll get used to it. Kids are always surprisingly resilient -- [And Suga feels like he'll be keeping a closer eye on her than most of the kids, subconsciously or not. But that train of thought is quickly derailed by Yaku's next move.

He watches Yaku closely, with mild forming awe on his face, as he gives him his contact information. This is really happening. He's going to hopefully keep in contact with Yaku Morisuke.] Oh! Yes, thank you.

[And he scrambles to get a writing utensil himself (it ends up being a green marker) to hand off his information to Yaku in return.] And mine. I tend to text more than anything.

[Well. Duh. Don't most people.] But I wont bother you with too many, ha ha.

[ Yaku takes a moment to look at the piece of paper given to him - he can almost hear Kuroo teasing him in the back of his head for swapping numbers with "that cute reserve setter from Karasuno".

(How many times had he heard that, with elbows nudging him in the biceps and the wink wink clear in Kuroo's voice and smirk? He'd tuned it out after a while, forgotten about it completely as the years passed - brushed off any fondness he felt toward Sugawara as nothing but the thrill of finding someone you can relate to, and never thought to mention it.)

He ignores how his stomach twists and knots up again and tucks the paper in his pocket, making a mental note to add the new and very important information to his phone as soon as he gets home. ] I don't mind - it's been far too long.

[ For how jumbled his feelings are today, that much is true. Kaori returns to his side and grabs onto his hand, and he offers Sugawara a smile. ]

Ah - sorry, but we should probably get going. [ Kaori bows her head. "Thank you, sensei!" ] We'll see you tomorrow?

Of course! Tomorrow! [Suga bows in return, to both of them, and welcomes the burn of the paper in his hand.

Although, he doesn't work up the courage to actually text Yaku that day. Suga's a little mad at himself for how hesitant he's being (this is something he'd normally be scolding Asahi for!) but he reasons that he'll see Yaku again soon enough. Tomorrow. Like they both said. He should be acting completely natural anyway.

... So he's still a little mad at himself the next morning when he's twiddling his thumbs, just waiting for Yaku and Kaori to walk through the front door. Looking up from whatever he's doing in anticipation whenever it squeaks open.

He smacks his cheeks lightly. Some of the kids already there give him a worrisome look. It's fine. Everything's fine.]

[ As the hours ticked by and afternoon turned to evening, then night, Yaku kept a close watch on his phone. No message. Maybe Sugawara expected him to text first? But what was he even supposed to say? "Hey, Suga-kun, long time, no see, didn't expect to see you again, don't ask why I have a kid"?? He didn't want to be hesitant, but after keeping himself closed up for so long... well. Breaking the ice proves to be too daunting.

The next morning, Yaku leaves his place ten minutes early - he tells Kaori and himself that it's to make sure he gets to work on time, he nearly ran into traffic yesterday, but if he's being honest with himself, that was hardly the reason. ]

Good morning, sensei! [ Kaori beats Yaku to a greeting - she bows her head politely before going to set her stuff down in her designated cubby.

Yaku, meanwhile, rubs the back of his neck. ] Hey, Suga-kun.

Good morning, Kaori-chan!

[Before Suga's heart can even react to Yaku, it reacts to Kaori, warming at just how different her greeting is in comparison to the day before. Still polite but so much less shy... he doubts it's anything he's done, but it still makes him so happy.

As Kaori passes to her cubby, though, Suga makes his way closer to Yaku. He doesn't know how much time they have to talk, and he'd like to take his chance now since the idea of texting still somehow feels daunting.]

Yaku-san. Good morning to you, too.

[Although, Suga very quickly realizes he has no idea what to talk to Yaku about. They've exchanged numbers to "catch up" but it still feels like the invitations only being held at arms length. Just a little bit out of reach. (And as he realizes this he concludes that that's probably why he's so hesitant to do just about anything. But it's only been one day. One day!) So, he tries the one thing he thinks is appropriate. Which is to talk about Kaori. Of course.]

Maybe I misspoke yesterday, she's really not shy at all, is she?

[ Yaku watches fondly as Kaori stashes her stuff in her cubby (carefully!), then goes to join her new friends. While still a little hesitant, one of the kids pulls her into the group quickly.

It's heart-warming but a little sad for Yaku at the same time. He didn't expect things to transition to daycare to go as smoothly as it is, or as quickly. There's the slight temptation to just take her back and get someone to watch her, continue like that - but he knows that'd be a little ridiculous, and not what's best for her. ]

She can be, but I think she's warmed up to you faster than anyone else I've seen. She usually takes a week to get used to people - it took two weeks with Kuroo.

[ Kaori: a very easy topic of conversation for Yaku. ] Kuroo, the former captain of Nekoma, I mean. He sometimes babysits her.

Are you still in contact with anyone from Karasuno, Suga-kun?

[Mmm, Suga nods along. And once again he feels a warm little thump in his heart, knowing this bit of information.]

Kuroo-san! I remember him. The hair. [He remembers hair and giving Daichi a run for his money, which is always a good thing. And speaking of Daichi.]

I keep in touch with our former captain as well. Sawamura. We basically lived together during college actually. But aside from him, it's a little harder when everyone's so spread out. You know?

[ Yaku tries - and barely succeeds - to not snrk when Sugawara mentions hair. He can imagine Kuroo protesting the association: "come on, that's what you remember me by?" ]

Yeah, that makes sense. Kuroo and I were in the same class for years, so it was easy to stay in contact with him - otherwise, it's about the same for me. College was hectic.

[ Understatement of the century. He sighs quietly. ] Just thinking about them makes me a little nostalgic.

[Sugawara nods along.]

Mmm... It might be time for a reunion. Maybe even another 'battle of the trash heap.'

[He laughs. Wouldn't that be a riot, although maybe a bit unfair when he very well knows some of his teammates have gone on to be pros. He also glances up at the clock. It's still earlier than it was when Yaku came in yesterday, but Suga would like the be careful. He still feels a little on edge; doesn't want to mess up in any way.]

Looks like you're early today, Y a k u -san [His name said playfully.] but I don't think I should keep you?

Will you be picking up Kaori again, or your wife?

[ Yaku knew the question would arise eventually - it's only natural, parents do usually come in pairs, and it's traditionally mothers that deal with childcare - but he still flinches when Sugawara asks about his wife.

His ex-wife. ]

I- it'll be me, Suga-kun. [ Nope, nope, keep your voice steady, Yaku, he doesn't know, he doesn't need to know more yet- ] It's just me taking care of her right now.

[ He's being vague, he realizes - no "we split up after a nasty marriage" or "she never wants anything to do with me or Kaori again", but his tongue feels like lead in his mouth, heavy and poisonous, and he doesn't have it in him to elaborate. Not yet. ] Sorry, that's probably sudden for me to say.

Oh, no no! [Sugawara can feel the heat rise in his face from embarrassment and he only hopes it isn’t actually showing. But seriously, here he was trying to not mess up, and he may as well have shoved his foot entirely in his mouth with that assumption, no matter how natural it was.]

My apologies! I just assumed - [He swallows down his words and takes a deep breath.] I don't know the situation, I'm sorry.

[Honestly though, he has no idea what Yaku could mean. Maybe they were divorced, but maybe his wife was sick? Out of town, country?? Dead?? Oh god he REALLY hecked up.]

[ Well, that reaction manages to calm him down. Luckily for Sugawara the blush isn't shining through, but the panic surely is.

He pats his shoulder gently and smiles - it's small and bittersweet, but a smile nevertheless. ]

Don't worry about it - it's the natural assumption. [ He's trying to be soothing because really, sadly, he's used to these sort of questions. And as torn up as Yaku gets about all this (is currently, as he thinks about the circumstances, how Sugawara would probably be disappointed to know the truth), he doesn't want to make him feel guilty for asking when really, it makes sense for him to ask. Daycare teacher and all. ] I don't talk about it much, but it's fine. Really.

You're probably right, though - I should get going. I don't want to keep you away from the kids, either.

I. Okay... [His panic is eased some but not entirely. It's enough for his shoulders to relax and move past it. He also doesn't want the panic to settle enough to give him time to be curious. That would be even worse.]

Oh, yes. They're bound to start getting antsy any minute now. [Suga's talking about the kids, really.]

Take care, Yaku-san.

You, too, Suga-kun. [ He could linger, be more reassuring to Sugawara, but what'd be the point? Yaku's not ready to answer his questions. So he removes his hand from his shoulder and calls to his daughter. "Bye, Kaori!" "Bye, daddy!"

Fortunately for Suga, Kaori proves to be an easy child to take care of - nap time is, again, difficult for her, but with some of the initial shyness gone she (politely) jumps at the opportunity to help him tidy up after an activity.

Yaku's a little later to arrive today, and looking just as tired, but he's able to smile when Kaori greets him just as happily as before. ] Hey there. [ He says to Kaori, and then to Suga: ]

Sorry if this is sudden, but... would you like to have coffee with me this weekend?

[As it turns out, it's easy to forget your blunder when you've got 15+ kids pulling at your legs and trying to get your attention for something or other. Even more so when someone has the terrible idea to include a glitter art project on the agenda for the day. Working with Kaori is a little reminder, a little prickle at the back of Suga's mind but not enough for him to mull over it more.

Besides, he's pleasantly distracted by how good she continues to be, yes. She is by far one of the easiest children Suga's taken care of in his time at this program. He makes sure to let her know just how grateful he is when she helps him tidy up, and he's pretty much beaming once Yaku returns for the afternoon.

He only brightens more (although that might be the glitter reflecting. He's pretty sure its in his hair now) when Yaku invites him out. This is a pleasant surprise considering everything. He answers while handing Yaku any of the art Kaori's made for the day ("Here, this should be dry by now. She worked really hard on it.")]

Sure! I would really like that, actually. Just text me when and where?

[Hahaha nice Suga, give yourselves an excuse to actually text this time too. Good job. He's patting himself on the back for that one.]

[ Yaku will comment to Kaori how impressed he is about the art project ("This looks really good, Kaori! Let's hang it up when we get home.") but first: ]

Yeah. Sounds good to me.

[ It does take him about an hour after he gets back to his place to do so - after dinner, and doing a bit of research to see where a good place might be (he doesn't get out as much as he'd like) - but he's not letting this opportunity slip by! Especially when it was his idea.

The rest of the week moves like a blur after that - even the disasters at work feel small to Yaku when put next to the fact that he asked Sugawara out. Willingly. He can't remember the last time he took the initiative to spend time with anyone. Even though it's just to properly catch up after years, it's all a little daunting.

Which is why he ends up at the cafe they agreed to meet at a good fifteen minutes earlier than they planned. Oops. But on the plus side, at least he's able to claim a table for them - near one of the windows, so Suga would be able to spot him right away.

He wraps his hands around his coffee cup (venti, dark roast, because he doesn't love himself) and waits. ]

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twenty-two years young [yaku/sugawara, single dad au]

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