[Dimitri feels how warm Felix's skin is: it's pleasant. It reminds Dimitri of when they were children, yes, and Felix would get a full body blush from the slightest teasing before tearing up and lashing out.
To hear those words - that Felix has loved him since they were kids, too, fills him with so much warmth as well and -- wait. What.] I'm sorry, before we were what now?
Felix is aware that Dimitri's memory is spotty. Given his past trauma and years of isolation, it only makes sense. But the thought that he just brought up something so intimate that Dimitri has zero recollection of makes his heart lurch in an uncomfortable way. ]
... You don't remember? [ HEY UHHH BYLETH CAN YOU COME OVER AND DIVINE PULSE, IT'S AN EMERGENCY ]
[ BYLETH PLEASE HE REALLY NEEDS THAT DIVINE PULSE NOW
He takes a deep breath. And then promptly turns his head toward his pillow so he doesn't have to look at Dimitri as he explains this. ] After Glenn got engaged to Ingrid, our fathers wanted us to, too. Probably to keep our families tied together, or something like that.
[ A stupid reason, though, because ] I... wanted to be with you anyway. N- not like that, but- [ ugh. why is he saying this much. ] you know what I mean.
[More panic.] I don't remember that in the slightest. I remember us talking about wanting to get married at that time, but because we wanted to not because of our fathers.
[It doesn't feel right to say it wasn't serious, because clearly it was to Felix and it was to him. He just didn't think it was official. Dimitri puts his hand on Felix's shoulder, and in his panic, blurts:] I still want to marry you!
His blush spreads all the way down his neck and he jolts up suddenly. (narrowly avoiding elbowing him in the face but that's fine) ] Stop! Just. Stop. [ Though his heart screams yes, he wants to marry him too, Felix bites his tongue. ]
Dimitri follows Felix, lifting himself to his level.] Because I mean it, and I've thought it for a long time. [Since he was coherent maybe. Since Byleth recounted how Felix had always watched him from afar in the cathedral. Since always.] When I say I need you, I mean it. [He repeats.] I need you by my side. Preferably for always. [A pause.] I would do anything to keep you here with me now that I have you again.
[He would have strived for that even if they remained strictly platonic.]
[ Felix swears, this soft, honest Dimitri is going to be the death of him one of these days. He's going to say something that'll make his heart completely, literally stop in his chest, and he'll drop dead right where he stands.
But for now, he slaps his hand over Dimitri's mouth and looks at the (minimal) space between them, rather than his eye. ] I know you mean it. And I know you would. [ Time and time again, he's shown him how far he'll go for his sake. Dimitri would, indeed, do anything for Felix.
His eyebrows furrow. ] This isn't easy for me to say, but... [ he knows he wants to hear it ] I feel the same. I still- want to marry you. Or just be with you in general. How doesn't matter to me.
[ ughsdksdkfsdk he looks briefly up at Dimitri, before his eyes flicker back down. ] So- so don't go and forget that, got it?
[ The warmth of his words, combined with the warmth of his breath over his palm and the slight tremble he felt in Dimitri when their eyes met, makes a few tears spill over. Finally. Finally. How long has he waited for this? For Dimitri to come back to him, and to say that he loves him again?
Felix sniffles, and leans forward to press a shaky kiss to his forehead. ] I won't let you forget. If you do, I'll... [ He doesn't know what. But he'd do something. ]
Dimitri reaches for him. He pulls Felix flush to his chest in an embrace.] I won't. I promise. [Felix feels small in his arms. Precious.] I love you, and I'm not leaving your side again.
[ It's easier to let the tears fall like this, while Dimitri can't see him cry. He can only feel his shirt dampen as Felix presses his face against his chest, breathing him in and feeling his heart beat.
His arms wrap around Dimitri tight and allows himself this moment of vulnerability. ] I won't let you leave. ... You can't. [ A breath. ] I love you... Dima.
I love you. [Dimitri's voice shakes. He feels young. He feels very much in love.] I love you, Fee. I love you so much.
[He repeats it again and again for Felix, like a manta, and wholly a promise. Dimitri will never leave him again. He won't go where Felix can't follow. Never again.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
To hear those words - that Felix has loved him since they were kids, too, fills him with so much warmth as well and -- wait. What.] I'm sorry, before we were what now?
no subject
Felix is aware that Dimitri's memory is spotty. Given his past trauma and years of isolation, it only makes sense. But the thought that he just brought up something so intimate that Dimitri has zero recollection of makes his heart lurch in an uncomfortable way. ]
... You don't remember? [ HEY UHHH BYLETH CAN YOU COME OVER AND DIVINE PULSE, IT'S AN EMERGENCY ]
no subject
no subject
He takes a deep breath. And then promptly turns his head toward his pillow so he doesn't have to look at Dimitri as he explains this. ] After Glenn got engaged to Ingrid, our fathers wanted us to, too. Probably to keep our families tied together, or something like that.
[ A stupid reason, though, because ] I... wanted to be with you anyway. N- not like that, but- [ ugh. why is he saying this much. ] you know what I mean.
no subject
[It doesn't feel right to say it wasn't serious, because clearly it was to Felix and it was to him. He just didn't think it was official. Dimitri puts his hand on Felix's shoulder, and in his panic, blurts:] I still want to marry you!
no subject
I-I mean, after we've courted for some time, of course. When you'd feel comfortable - if you'd accept - I.
[Oh Sothis help him]
no subject
His blush spreads all the way down his neck and he jolts up suddenly. (narrowly avoiding elbowing him in the face but that's fine) ] Stop! Just. Stop. [ Though his heart screams yes, he wants to marry him too, Felix bites his tongue. ]
How can you say that with a straight face?
no subject
Dimitri follows Felix, lifting himself to his level.] Because I mean it, and I've thought it for a long time. [Since he was coherent maybe. Since Byleth recounted how Felix had always watched him from afar in the cathedral. Since always.] When I say I need you, I mean it. [He repeats.] I need you by my side. Preferably for always. [A pause.] I would do anything to keep you here with me now that I have you again.
[He would have strived for that even if they remained strictly platonic.]
no subject
But for now, he slaps his hand over Dimitri's mouth and looks at the (minimal) space between them, rather than his eye. ] I know you mean it. And I know you would. [ Time and time again, he's shown him how far he'll go for his sake. Dimitri would, indeed, do anything for Felix.
His eyebrows furrow. ] This isn't easy for me to say, but... [ he knows he wants to hear it ] I feel the same. I still- want to marry you. Or just be with you in general. How doesn't matter to me.
[ ughsdksdkfsdk he looks briefly up at Dimitri, before his eyes flicker back down. ] So- so don't go and forget that, got it?
no subject
I wont forget. [He clasps his hand over Felix's, the one over his mouth, and he kisses his palm while its trapped.] Not ever.
[They can be together, they can be together, finally]
no subject
Felix sniffles, and leans forward to press a shaky kiss to his forehead. ] I won't let you forget. If you do, I'll... [ He doesn't know what. But he'd do something. ]
no subject
Dimitri reaches for him. He pulls Felix flush to his chest in an embrace.] I won't. I promise. [Felix feels small in his arms. Precious.] I love you, and I'm not leaving your side again.
no subject
His arms wrap around Dimitri tight and allows himself this moment of vulnerability. ] I won't let you leave. ... You can't. [ A breath. ] I love you... Dima.
no subject
[He repeats it again and again for Felix, like a manta, and wholly a promise. Dimitri will never leave him again. He won't go where Felix can't follow. Never again.]