[Dimitri's laugh is soft and fond. He nuzzles into Felix’s hair because if Felix is still clinging to him so tightly, then a little gesture as such should be okay.] I wouldn't call myself a “boar” if that’s what you’re asking.
I’m... better. [Not okay, not totally fine, but better. Better than how Felix would remember him. Much better than he expected to be after running into someone from his past. He slowly pulls back, as much as Felix will let him, so he can get a look at the other’s face.] ...Are you okay? Is –
[Is Glenn? Is Rodrigue? Are they even around? Dimitri starts to ask, but immediately his voice catches in his throat with the realization it may not be prudent to ask about them.] I think we should go somewhere more private to talk.
[ Felix lets Dimitri pull away, but he still keeps a hand in his shirt. Forgive him for being just a bit clingy, but he's emotional right now. Even if it doesn't show too clearly on his face. ]
... I live in the dorms. [ Translation: my room is out of the question. As much as he lovestolerates his roommate, Ashe, he's not keen on the idea of kicking him out to have a private chat with Dimitri. He doesn't want to give him the wrong idea, nor open that can of worms. ] What do you suggest?
[There’s a lock of hair falling loose from Felix’s bun and Dimitri pushes it back behind Felix’s ear without even thinking about it. Like it’s natural. It is natural. Should it be more alarming to him how easy he can fall into this with Felix again? He doesn’t think they were on good terms when they left off before.] My place? Not to be too forward but I, I ah, live by myself.
[Which would clearly be the best setting for the conversation they’re about to have. Dimitri realizes one more thing outside of this world that only consists of himself and Felix.] ...did you run out of your class for me?
[ It's not the casual touch that gets to him most, nor that invitation that'd certainly be bold out of context - it's how Dimitri is spot on with what happened. How is it that he knows him this well, after so long?
Felix burns red and immediately lets go of Dimitri. ] That's none of your concern. [ Translation: yes, he did, and he'll have to 1) explain himself to the professor later and 2) pay Lysithea with cake in order to get the stuff he abandoned back.
But that's far from his mind at the moment, as he brings his hands back to his sides and turns his head in defiance. ] Come on. I don't want to stand around here all day. [ So lead the way, Dimitri! ]
[Oh. Cute.] Right. It's a short walk from campus, thankfully.
[And, truly, it is a short walk to Dimitri's apartment (the reason being that dimitri, because he cannot be trusted to feed himself, is still on the school's meal plan and needs quick access to the campus). The apartment is sparse, only the bare essentials. A dining table, cluttered with books and papers, which Dimitri deposits his keys at. A small couch with an equally small coffee table, positioned to stare at a wall. His bedroom is worse off but he wont be bringing Felix that way just yet.]
I don't have anything to drink besides water - oh, tea! I have tea [He heads into his kitchen, giving Felix quiet permission to wander and get comfortable.] and coffee. But I wouldn't recommend that; I only have it for when father visits.
[ say that to my face and not in bracket text you motherfucker
But Dimitri wanders into the kitchen, and Felix takes the unspoken invitation to look around and make himself at home. Not that there's really much to look at - the lack of any personal just screams Dimitri, but he almost wishes there was something more, to give him an idea how this Dimitri differs from the one he remembers.
"I only have it for when father visits."
... Well, that's one thing at least. If Lambert's alive, then he really must be doing better this time.
Felix sits on the couch and plucks one of the books from the table. ] Do you have anything besides chamomile? [ Yes, he remembers his favorite tea, shut up. ]
[Dimitri stops at that. He clearly hasn't had the time to bring up his favorite tea while they've been together, so Felix remembers that. He's held onto that all this time. Dimitri suddenly feels a little guilty that he doesn't remember Felix's favorite in return.
But he remembers that Felix enjoyed spicy, smokier flavors much like Dedue.] Lapsang? It's a black tea. [He gets some water boiling, regardless.]
[ He... kinda knows what that is. Or, at least, the name doesn't sound completely new to him. It's probably something he's had once or twice when Ashe dragged him out to the local tea shop but he never bothered to remember what it's called.
Though he can't see him from the living room, Felix nods. ] Fine by me. [ While he waits for Dimitri to return with their drinks, he absentmindedly flips through the book he's chosen - a lengthy care guide for succulents. (cute...) ]
[Something Dimitri remembers from his past life is how the strength granted to him by his crest often hindered his ability to do simple things. He broke scissors, bent sewing needles, tore roots from plants. His strength in combination with his position stole away his opportunity to have hobbies outside of training. In this life, his crest's strength no longer courses through his body and he wants to remedy that.
He's starting easy - he has a small succulent named Greenie on his windowsill. That's why he has the succulent book. He bought a whole book for one plant.
(he thinks he might start crocheting soon too but that's a whole 'nother animal)
Dimitri joins Felix on the couch with their two mugs in hand.] Now that we're here, I admittedly don't know what to say.
[ Felix takes one of the mugs from Dimitri, but doesn't drink yet. He lets the warmth of the tea seep into his palms and stares at the dark liquid as though a better topic will emerge from beneath the surface.
But nothing comes after a few seconds of silence, so Felix is left with only one thing to latch onto. ] ... You mentioned your father. [ He has only a handful of memories of Lambert, himself - namely, the way he treated him as though he were his own son at times, and the lighthearted smile his father had only for him. ] He's still around?
Yes, he's alive. [His confirmation comes out as a relieved sigh.] He and my uncle are both doing well. [He's not sure if he should go on but...] I never knew my mother - her nor Patricia. But that's okay - I'm okay with that. If anything, I hope Patricia is with Edelgard.
[Despite his lingering depression and anxiety, Dimitri is happy in this life (and only going to become happier he expects). He hopes Edelgard is too.
With Felix bringing up his father, it now feels more appropriate to ask about Rodrigue.] Is Rodrigue well? Is - Glenn? [He stumbles over Glenn's name, still. It's difficult. He remembers the tension the topic of him used to bring - all because no one cared to remember Glenn for who he actually was. Only Felix did.]
[ He's about to express his relief - because he really is glad Dimitri still has his family in this life - but then Dimitri mentions (stumbles over) Glenn.
Funny. It's been years, but this still isn't easy to talk about. ]
... Glenn's dead. [ He does his best to keep the emotion out of his voice but Dimitri, keen as he is, might be able to pick up the traces of sorrow beneath his even tone. ] He was in a car accident around five years ago.
But my old man's fine. [ His fingers tighten slightly around the mug. ] Well, as fine as he can be, anyway. He's not glorifying Glenn's death this time around, but he's just as insufferable. [ And, from the sound of things, their relationship is only a little less strained. Not that Felix didn't try to make things better - just... there's only so much either of them could do. Especially when no one in their family's particularly great at expressing love.
(there's also the circumstances from their previous life to consider. he never explained to his father why he no longer wanted to be a member of house fraldarius. he just... left. no parting words, no dramatic or tearful goodbyes - just a short letter left on his childhood bed for rodrigue to find after he was miles and miles away from home. he doesn't remember anything special about the last time they saw each other, either... though, knowing them, they probably argued about whether or not dimitri was still alive, and he probably left his father to stare at his retreating back in a fit of anger of frustration.)
Maybe they're not meant to get along. Just like how he's apparently not allowed to have his older brother past the age of thirteen. ]
That doesn’t seem fair. [Dimitri blurts and then immediately sucks in a breath. He draws his shoulders in tight.] I’m sorry that was incredibly insensitive of me. But if – Glenn should be alive. If father is, Glenn should be too.
[He realizes how childish he sounds but it’s how he feels. Isn’t that how this works? Aren’t they all getting second chances?]
[ That pure, reflexive reaction almost makes Felix laugh. Talking about what's just and fair in a situation that's far out of either of their control... it's familiar, and almost comforting.
But he shakes his head, and finally looks Dimitri in the eyes. ] I'm not wallowing in my grief, if that's what you're thinking. Just like before, I refuse to let his death hold me back.
[ (but when it happened, oh was he upset. he screamed and sobbed alone into his pillow, cursing sothis and every god of this new world he could think of that they took glenn from him again.)
He takes a slow sip of his tea. Takes a moment to gather his next words, spoken soft but sincere. ] ... but I appreciate the sentiment.
You’re so strong. It’s reassuring to know you’re still so strong. [Dimitri sets his mug down and offers his hand to Felix: palm up, between them on the couch.] I don’t remember everything. I don’t want to remember more. And for a long time I was terrified of meeting anyone – any of our friends – in case they stirred up any memories. I’ve avoided it.
[He and Felix are eye to eye still but he’s almost afraid of what Felix will have to say about this confession. He’s not a boar anymore, but he might be worse. A fearful rabbit running from its problems.] But I’m glad you found me. Thank you for looking for me. Thank you for finding me.
[ Felix understands where Dimitri's coming from. He's never claimed to know or truly understand all that goes through his head - but the trauma he experienced, the pain and anger he felt, the lives he trampled over or cut short by his own hand... he can't blame him for not wanting to know how deep the darkness goes.
He glances down at the hand between them before moving his own on top. Their fingers intertwine with ease, and it's a familiar feeling - but he wills himself to stay here, in the present, with this Dimitri. ]
I already told you, I'd been looking for quite some time. [ okay, he didn't say it in those exact words, but it was heavily implied. ] You don't remember it, and I'm not going to remind you, but I... owed it to you. [ A small squeeze. ] I'm not planning on leaving you alone this time.
[One day Dimitri will ask what happened to Felix, but today is not that day. Not when this is so fresh and he’s honestly so happy and relieved to see him.
He cracks a smile and it meets his eyes.] Be careful or I’ll hold you to that. You can’t change your mind later if you find me as intolerable as before.
[ Felix feels an emotion strike him square in the chest - an overwhelming urge to kiss that smile of his. He - he didn't think a simple smile could do such a thing to his heart.
He settles for leaning forward and touching his forehead to Dimitri's. ] Just don't lose yourself, and you'll be fine. [ or, don't become someone he doesn't recognize. ]
[Dimitri shakes his head, smile still prominent on his face.] I wont. Not this time. I promise.
[They may be in their own little world, but time still moves forward around them. While they're talking, catching up, Dimitri's hand never leaving Felix in some way, the sun gives way to the moon and darkness settles. It's only when his phone vibrates with an alarm (eat dinner, take your meds) does Dimitri startle out of their world.]
How - Goddess, when did it get so late? [A useless question.] Felix, I am so sorry.
[ Reluctantly, Felix lifts himself from his spot (more or less buried into Dimitri's side) and pulls out his phone. Huh. The day sure did fly by without either of them noticing. But he supposes that makes sense, as the abrupt end to their casual conversation leaves him realizing his throat's actually tired from how much he's talked. Normally he's a man of few words... but he supposes if anyone's going to make him behave differently, it's Dimitri.
He frowns, and is slow to release his hold on Dimitri's hand. ] It's fine. But I should go. [ ... he doesn't sound too convinced. ]
[It's shocking how cold Dimitri's side feels the moment Felix leaves it. Was it always like this? How did he ever live without him.] It's dark, though. [He only takes a moment to recover from blurting that out.] I wouldn't feel comfortable letting you walk alone in the dark. [Even if it is a short way.
He wrings the hem of his shirt in his hands.] You can stay here. My bed is big enough for two.
[He hopes this isn't too forward, too. He remembers their sleepovers when Felix visited. He remembers Felix climbing into his bed almost every night and curling up at his side. He remembers the comfort it brought him, and hopefully brought Felix too.]
[ Felix probably should insist on leaving. It's not like he hasn't walked home in the dark before - he often works out or studies in the library until late in the night to avoid being around people. But Dimitri's emotions - his nerves, his eagerness - are on full display, and he can't bring himself to say no.
(he, again, also really doesn't want to leave quite yet.)
But the offer to share a bed makes him pause. ] Are you sure? [ Yes, they used to sleep next to each other as kids, but they were kids. Not young adults with a lot of pent up emotion and memories. ]
[Isn't this what Felix had wanted during their school days? Hadn't he been tired of Dimitri's forced smiles and princely behavior? He'd been waiting for him to snap.
Dimitri gives a small nod.] It's just, this couch is a little small for either of us. [A pause.] We can put a pillow between us if you want?
[ ... Well. So long as he's thought this through. Or as thoroughly as one can when suddenly thrust into a situation like this.
So Felix shakes his head, pushing back the loose strands of his hair. ] That's not necessary. [ The sudden grumble of Felix's stomach provides an easy end to the conversation. He rises to his feet and makes his way to the kitchen without asking for permission first (and takes a moment to send a quick text to the worried ashe that he's fine, he's staying with a friend tonight, he'll see him sometime tomorrow). ] Come on. We need to eat something.
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I’m... better. [Not okay, not totally fine, but better. Better than how Felix would remember him. Much better than he expected to be after running into someone from his past. He slowly pulls back, as much as Felix will let him, so he can get a look at the other’s face.] ...Are you okay? Is –
[Is Glenn? Is Rodrigue? Are they even around? Dimitri starts to ask, but immediately his voice catches in his throat with the realization it may not be prudent to ask about them.] I think we should go somewhere more private to talk.
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... I live in the dorms. [ Translation: my room is out of the question. As much as he
lovestolerates his roommate, Ashe, he's not keen on the idea of kicking him out to have a private chat with Dimitri. He doesn't want to give him the wrong idea, nor open that can of worms. ] What do you suggest?no subject
[Which would clearly be the best setting for the conversation they’re about to have. Dimitri realizes one more thing outside of this world that only consists of himself and Felix.] ...did you run out of your class for me?
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Felix burns red and immediately lets go of Dimitri. ] That's none of your concern. [ Translation: yes, he did, and he'll have to 1) explain himself to the professor later and 2) pay Lysithea with cake in order to get the stuff he abandoned back.
But that's far from his mind at the moment, as he brings his hands back to his sides and turns his head in defiance. ] Come on. I don't want to stand around here all day. [ So lead the way, Dimitri! ]
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[And, truly, it is a short walk to Dimitri's apartment (the reason being that dimitri, because he cannot be trusted to feed himself, is still on the school's meal plan and needs quick access to the campus). The apartment is sparse, only the bare essentials. A dining table, cluttered with books and papers, which Dimitri deposits his keys at. A small couch with an equally small coffee table, positioned to stare at a wall. His bedroom is worse off but he wont be bringing Felix that way just yet.]
I don't have anything to drink besides water - oh, tea! I have tea [He heads into his kitchen, giving Felix quiet permission to wander and get comfortable.] and coffee. But I wouldn't recommend that; I only have it for when father visits.
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But Dimitri wanders into the kitchen, and Felix takes the unspoken invitation to look around and make himself at home. Not that there's really much to look at - the lack of any personal just screams Dimitri, but he almost wishes there was something more, to give him an idea how this Dimitri differs from the one he remembers.
"I only have it for when father visits."
... Well, that's one thing at least. If Lambert's alive, then he really must be doing better this time.
Felix sits on the couch and plucks one of the books from the table. ] Do you have anything besides chamomile? [ Yes, he remembers his favorite tea, shut up. ]
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But he remembers that Felix enjoyed spicy, smokier flavors much like Dedue.] Lapsang? It's a black tea. [He gets some water boiling, regardless.]
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Though he can't see him from the living room, Felix nods. ] Fine by me. [ While he waits for Dimitri to return with their drinks, he absentmindedly flips through the book he's chosen - a lengthy care guide for succulents. (cute...) ]
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He's starting easy - he has a small succulent named Greenie on his windowsill. That's why he has the succulent book. He bought a whole book for one plant.
(he thinks he might start crocheting soon too but that's a whole 'nother animal)
Dimitri joins Felix on the couch with their two mugs in hand.] Now that we're here, I admittedly don't know what to say.
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But nothing comes after a few seconds of silence, so Felix is left with only one thing to latch onto. ] ... You mentioned your father. [ He has only a handful of memories of Lambert, himself - namely, the way he treated him as though he were his own son at times, and the lighthearted smile his father had only for him. ] He's still around?
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[Despite his lingering depression and anxiety, Dimitri is happy in this life (and only going to become happier he expects). He hopes Edelgard is too.
With Felix bringing up his father, it now feels more appropriate to ask about Rodrigue.] Is Rodrigue well? Is - Glenn? [He stumbles over Glenn's name, still. It's difficult. He remembers the tension the topic of him used to bring - all because no one cared to remember Glenn for who he actually was. Only Felix did.]
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Funny. It's been years, but this still isn't easy to talk about. ]
... Glenn's dead. [ He does his best to keep the emotion out of his voice but Dimitri, keen as he is, might be able to pick up the traces of sorrow beneath his even tone. ] He was in a car accident around five years ago.
But my old man's fine. [ His fingers tighten slightly around the mug. ] Well, as fine as he can be, anyway. He's not glorifying Glenn's death this time around, but he's just as insufferable. [ And, from the sound of things, their relationship is only a little less strained. Not that Felix didn't try to make things better - just... there's only so much either of them could do. Especially when no one in their family's particularly great at expressing love.
(there's also the circumstances from their previous life to consider. he never explained to his father why he no longer wanted to be a member of house fraldarius. he just... left. no parting words, no dramatic or tearful goodbyes - just a short letter left on his childhood bed for rodrigue to find after he was miles and miles away from home. he doesn't remember anything special about the last time they saw each other, either... though, knowing them, they probably argued about whether or not dimitri was still alive, and he probably left his father to stare at his retreating back in a fit of anger of frustration.)
Maybe they're not meant to get along. Just like how he's apparently not allowed to have his older brother past the age of thirteen. ]
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[He realizes how childish he sounds but it’s how he feels. Isn’t that how this works? Aren’t they all getting second chances?]
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But he shakes his head, and finally looks Dimitri in the eyes. ] I'm not wallowing in my grief, if that's what you're thinking. Just like before, I refuse to let his death hold me back.
[ (but when it happened, oh was he upset. he screamed and sobbed alone into his pillow, cursing sothis and every god of this new world he could think of that they took glenn from him again.)
He takes a slow sip of his tea. Takes a moment to gather his next words, spoken soft but sincere. ] ... but I appreciate the sentiment.
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[He and Felix are eye to eye still but he’s almost afraid of what Felix will have to say about this confession. He’s not a boar anymore, but he might be worse. A fearful rabbit running from its problems.] But I’m glad you found me. Thank you for looking for me. Thank you for finding me.
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He glances down at the hand between them before moving his own on top. Their fingers intertwine with ease, and it's a familiar feeling - but he wills himself to stay here, in the present, with this Dimitri. ]
I already told you, I'd been looking for quite some time. [ okay, he didn't say it in those exact words, but it was heavily implied. ] You don't remember it, and I'm not going to remind you, but I... owed it to you. [ A small squeeze. ] I'm not planning on leaving you alone this time.
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He cracks a smile and it meets his eyes.] Be careful or I’ll hold you to that. You can’t change your mind later if you find me as intolerable as before.
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He settles for leaning forward and touching his forehead to Dimitri's. ] Just don't lose yourself, and you'll be fine. [ or, don't become someone he doesn't recognize. ]
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[They may be in their own little world, but time still moves forward around them. While they're talking, catching up, Dimitri's hand never leaving Felix in some way, the sun gives way to the moon and darkness settles. It's only when his phone vibrates with an alarm (eat dinner, take your meds) does Dimitri startle out of their world.]
How - Goddess, when did it get so late? [A useless question.] Felix, I am so sorry.
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He frowns, and is slow to release his hold on Dimitri's hand. ] It's fine. But I should go. [ ... he doesn't sound too convinced. ]
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He wrings the hem of his shirt in his hands.] You can stay here. My bed is big enough for two.
[He hopes this isn't too forward, too. He remembers their sleepovers when Felix visited. He remembers Felix climbing into his bed almost every night and curling up at his side. He remembers the comfort it brought him, and hopefully brought Felix too.]
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(he, again, also really doesn't want to leave quite yet.)
But the offer to share a bed makes him pause. ] Are you sure? [ Yes, they used to sleep next to each other as kids, but they were kids. Not young adults with a lot of pent up emotion and memories. ]
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Dimitri gives a small nod.] It's just, this couch is a little small for either of us. [A pause.] We can put a pillow between us if you want?
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So Felix shakes his head, pushing back the loose strands of his hair. ] That's not necessary. [ The sudden grumble of Felix's stomach provides an easy end to the conversation. He rises to his feet and makes his way to the kitchen without asking for permission first (and takes a moment to send a quick text to the worried ashe that he's fine, he's staying with a friend tonight, he'll see him sometime tomorrow). ] Come on. We need to eat something.
[ So he opens up the fridge and-- ]
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... Dimitri. [ He looks over his shoulder in the direction of the other boy. ] Do you only eat cheese?
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