[ Felix made a mistake in his previous life. In order to be closer to the mercenary-turned-professor and learn their unique sword techniques, he decided to transfer to the Golden Deer house. At the time, it felt inconsequential - it wasn't like he'd vanished off the face of Fodlan or anything. He was still in the academy with all the other Blue Lions, after all. And honestly, there was only so much he could learn from Professor Hanneman and his Crestology lectures. He was convinced it was a change for the better.
But had he known that he'd lose Dimitri as a result, he wouldn't have left his side. Not even for a second.
He was told Dimitri died when Cornelia took over the capital. It's what everyone believed - and what he himself continued to believe even as rumors of an army growing in the ruins of Faergus under Blaiddyd's banner emerged. He couldn't cling to a false hope.
And, in a way, he was right. The beast who possessed Dimitri's body at Gronder Field wasn't even the boar he'd seen at the academy. His eyes burned with an unfathomable cold fury as he lurched across the battlefield, slaughtering all who stood in his path. Even as his blood seeped into the soil he refused to stand down. Not until he killed Edelgard.
That was the last time Felix saw Dimitri. According to Hilda, he (dimitri, the demon who controlled his body, whatever that was) died in pursuit of Edelgard. Collapsed, and was pierced by spears before he could rise to his feet again.
Felix took great satisfaction in helping Claude and Byleth cut down Edelgard a few months later. But even after that, his heart didn't know peace. Again and again, he asked himself why he didn't stay with Dimitri. He knew him better than anyone else. Could he have saved him? Could he have stopped him?
(after the war against the empire and nemesis ends, felix dies in a manner so similar, it's almost poetic. as blades pierce his chest and the last breath of life leaves his lungs, he wonders if dimitri felt pain in the end.)
These thoughts - these regrets - carry over to his current life. Though he doesn't have the power to protect him like before, he can't - he won't - let him stand alone. Not again.
But first, he has to find the damn guy. The world's a big place, and there's an infuriating amount of Dimitris with blond hair and blue eyes that aren't his Dimitri. So he unfortunately has to just wait and see what happens.
He isn't thinking about his lifelong quest as he's sitting in his too early in the morning calculus class. He's pretty sure his brain leaked out his ears around twenty minutes ago, so he's no longer capable of any thought. But as he stares out the window, he sees someone pass by, and his heart stops. The world vanishes around him, leaving him alone with this boy that he knows isn't a stranger, he knew he'd recognize him when he saw him and he was right, he was right, it's him-
In a burst of energy, he's out the door, all his belongings abandoned at his seat. They don't matter. Nothing else matters. When he gets outside, he sees him beginning to walk away - before he can get too far, he yells: ]
[Dimitri's memory of his past life isn't as clear. It's spotty with long period of nothing between glimpses of a past littered with tragedy. From that alone, Dimitri figures it's probably for the better this way. He has in no way suffered in this life as much as he has in his previous life, but he can still feel some of the feelings he'd been plagued with before crawling up his throat, laying waste to his bones.
He doesn't want to think more about it, uncover more of those memories, and cause those feelings to fester and swell. He doesn't remember what happened to his friends, his classmates that fought alongside him or against him. He doesn't know what happened to Annette or Mercedes who stayed with him if only purely to be near Gustav and each other. He doesn't know what happened to Ashe, who defected in a last ditch attempt to please his dead adoptive father. He doesn't know what happened to Dedue or Sylvain or Ingrid, who stuck by his side even for the worst of it. He doesn't know what happened to Felix.. the biggest mystery of them all. How ironic and cruel that the person he loved is the one he remembers the least of.
Whenever Dimitri remembers flashes of the war, the fighting, the bloodshed, Felix is never there alongside him. He doesn't even want to begin to think what that could mean.
At least, wherever he is, Felix is probably alive and well in this life.
Much like Felix, Dimitri isn't thinking about any of this currently. Currently, Dimitri is lost as all hell trying to find his also too early in the morning marketing class. He's going to be late at this rate and --
And then there is an all too familiar call of his name. Someone who's voice he's never heard in person but he'd recognize anywhere. He stops in his tracks to turn to the other and suddenly it really is just them in the world.]
[ The old Felix wouldn't have shown this outburst of emotion. Wouldn't have let himself be this physical with anyone, outside of sparring and fighting (and even that doesn't count).
But this Felix Hugo Fraldarius is a different man. His name leaves Dimitri's lips ("felix". he's missed that sound, missed him) and Felix is there in an instant, enveloping him in the tightest hug he can muster without hesitation.
Even now, he's taller than him. That thought is enough to make his eyes sting with the beginnings of tears long held back. ] It's about time you showed up. [ He presses his face against his shoulder and breathes him in. Hands bunching up the back of his shirt, he murmurs for only Dimitri to hear. ] I've been looking for you.
[Dimitri isn’t sure how to react exactly because the old Felix would never have done these things. Not at this age. A younger Felix clung to Dimitri, whined to be with him at every moment. It was very clear how much Felix adored him then. But as a teenager and an adult, something changed and he remembers Felix being distant, even in his affection. He was unaccustomed to expressing how he felt and, in turn, Dimitri grew unused to such open displays of affection.
He eventually settles on holding Felix in return, his hands settling on the small of his back and nose in Felix’s hair. It’s so funny to him, how he’s never known this Felix and yet this feels so comfortable – so right. They slot together like they were meant for each other.] I didn’t think you’d be looking for me. I thought I’d never see you again.
[ It comes as no surprise to Felix that Dimitri feels that way. What else is he supposed to think? If he remembered everything in picture perfect clarity, he'd remember Felix never coming back for him, sharing the battlefield as his enemy. And if he didn't... well. That'd almost be better, he thinks. Better to forget all that pain and darkness than to have it continue haunting him now.
He shakes his head, careful to not jostle Dimitri in the process. ] Of course I looked for you. You're... [ my best friend. my first and only love. the one person i never wanted to lose. ]
... Never mind. Forget I said that. [ It's pointless mentioning it, anyway. ] Anyway. Are you... alright?
[ google search "how to tactfully ask if someone is still a damn boar" ]
[Dimitri's laugh is soft and fond. He nuzzles into Felix’s hair because if Felix is still clinging to him so tightly, then a little gesture as such should be okay.] I wouldn't call myself a “boar” if that’s what you’re asking.
I’m... better. [Not okay, not totally fine, but better. Better than how Felix would remember him. Much better than he expected to be after running into someone from his past. He slowly pulls back, as much as Felix will let him, so he can get a look at the other’s face.] ...Are you okay? Is –
[Is Glenn? Is Rodrigue? Are they even around? Dimitri starts to ask, but immediately his voice catches in his throat with the realization it may not be prudent to ask about them.] I think we should go somewhere more private to talk.
[ Felix lets Dimitri pull away, but he still keeps a hand in his shirt. Forgive him for being just a bit clingy, but he's emotional right now. Even if it doesn't show too clearly on his face. ]
... I live in the dorms. [ Translation: my room is out of the question. As much as he lovestolerates his roommate, Ashe, he's not keen on the idea of kicking him out to have a private chat with Dimitri. He doesn't want to give him the wrong idea, nor open that can of worms. ] What do you suggest?
[There’s a lock of hair falling loose from Felix’s bun and Dimitri pushes it back behind Felix’s ear without even thinking about it. Like it’s natural. It is natural. Should it be more alarming to him how easy he can fall into this with Felix again? He doesn’t think they were on good terms when they left off before.] My place? Not to be too forward but I, I ah, live by myself.
[Which would clearly be the best setting for the conversation they’re about to have. Dimitri realizes one more thing outside of this world that only consists of himself and Felix.] ...did you run out of your class for me?
[ It's not the casual touch that gets to him most, nor that invitation that'd certainly be bold out of context - it's how Dimitri is spot on with what happened. How is it that he knows him this well, after so long?
Felix burns red and immediately lets go of Dimitri. ] That's none of your concern. [ Translation: yes, he did, and he'll have to 1) explain himself to the professor later and 2) pay Lysithea with cake in order to get the stuff he abandoned back.
But that's far from his mind at the moment, as he brings his hands back to his sides and turns his head in defiance. ] Come on. I don't want to stand around here all day. [ So lead the way, Dimitri! ]
[Oh. Cute.] Right. It's a short walk from campus, thankfully.
[And, truly, it is a short walk to Dimitri's apartment (the reason being that dimitri, because he cannot be trusted to feed himself, is still on the school's meal plan and needs quick access to the campus). The apartment is sparse, only the bare essentials. A dining table, cluttered with books and papers, which Dimitri deposits his keys at. A small couch with an equally small coffee table, positioned to stare at a wall. His bedroom is worse off but he wont be bringing Felix that way just yet.]
I don't have anything to drink besides water - oh, tea! I have tea [He heads into his kitchen, giving Felix quiet permission to wander and get comfortable.] and coffee. But I wouldn't recommend that; I only have it for when father visits.
[ say that to my face and not in bracket text you motherfucker
But Dimitri wanders into the kitchen, and Felix takes the unspoken invitation to look around and make himself at home. Not that there's really much to look at - the lack of any personal just screams Dimitri, but he almost wishes there was something more, to give him an idea how this Dimitri differs from the one he remembers.
"I only have it for when father visits."
... Well, that's one thing at least. If Lambert's alive, then he really must be doing better this time.
Felix sits on the couch and plucks one of the books from the table. ] Do you have anything besides chamomile? [ Yes, he remembers his favorite tea, shut up. ]
[Dimitri stops at that. He clearly hasn't had the time to bring up his favorite tea while they've been together, so Felix remembers that. He's held onto that all this time. Dimitri suddenly feels a little guilty that he doesn't remember Felix's favorite in return.
But he remembers that Felix enjoyed spicy, smokier flavors much like Dedue.] Lapsang? It's a black tea. [He gets some water boiling, regardless.]
[ He... kinda knows what that is. Or, at least, the name doesn't sound completely new to him. It's probably something he's had once or twice when Ashe dragged him out to the local tea shop but he never bothered to remember what it's called.
Though he can't see him from the living room, Felix nods. ] Fine by me. [ While he waits for Dimitri to return with their drinks, he absentmindedly flips through the book he's chosen - a lengthy care guide for succulents. (cute...) ]
[Something Dimitri remembers from his past life is how the strength granted to him by his crest often hindered his ability to do simple things. He broke scissors, bent sewing needles, tore roots from plants. His strength in combination with his position stole away his opportunity to have hobbies outside of training. In this life, his crest's strength no longer courses through his body and he wants to remedy that.
He's starting easy - he has a small succulent named Greenie on his windowsill. That's why he has the succulent book. He bought a whole book for one plant.
(he thinks he might start crocheting soon too but that's a whole 'nother animal)
Dimitri joins Felix on the couch with their two mugs in hand.] Now that we're here, I admittedly don't know what to say.
[ Felix takes one of the mugs from Dimitri, but doesn't drink yet. He lets the warmth of the tea seep into his palms and stares at the dark liquid as though a better topic will emerge from beneath the surface.
But nothing comes after a few seconds of silence, so Felix is left with only one thing to latch onto. ] ... You mentioned your father. [ He has only a handful of memories of Lambert, himself - namely, the way he treated him as though he were his own son at times, and the lighthearted smile his father had only for him. ] He's still around?
Yes, he's alive. [His confirmation comes out as a relieved sigh.] He and my uncle are both doing well. [He's not sure if he should go on but...] I never knew my mother - her nor Patricia. But that's okay - I'm okay with that. If anything, I hope Patricia is with Edelgard.
[Despite his lingering depression and anxiety, Dimitri is happy in this life (and only going to become happier he expects). He hopes Edelgard is too.
With Felix bringing up his father, it now feels more appropriate to ask about Rodrigue.] Is Rodrigue well? Is - Glenn? [He stumbles over Glenn's name, still. It's difficult. He remembers the tension the topic of him used to bring - all because no one cared to remember Glenn for who he actually was. Only Felix did.]
[ He's about to express his relief - because he really is glad Dimitri still has his family in this life - but then Dimitri mentions (stumbles over) Glenn.
Funny. It's been years, but this still isn't easy to talk about. ]
... Glenn's dead. [ He does his best to keep the emotion out of his voice but Dimitri, keen as he is, might be able to pick up the traces of sorrow beneath his even tone. ] He was in a car accident around five years ago.
But my old man's fine. [ His fingers tighten slightly around the mug. ] Well, as fine as he can be, anyway. He's not glorifying Glenn's death this time around, but he's just as insufferable. [ And, from the sound of things, their relationship is only a little less strained. Not that Felix didn't try to make things better - just... there's only so much either of them could do. Especially when no one in their family's particularly great at expressing love.
(there's also the circumstances from their previous life to consider. he never explained to his father why he no longer wanted to be a member of house fraldarius. he just... left. no parting words, no dramatic or tearful goodbyes - just a short letter left on his childhood bed for rodrigue to find after he was miles and miles away from home. he doesn't remember anything special about the last time they saw each other, either... though, knowing them, they probably argued about whether or not dimitri was still alive, and he probably left his father to stare at his retreating back in a fit of anger of frustration.)
Maybe they're not meant to get along. Just like how he's apparently not allowed to have his older brother past the age of thirteen. ]
That doesn’t seem fair. [Dimitri blurts and then immediately sucks in a breath. He draws his shoulders in tight.] I’m sorry that was incredibly insensitive of me. But if – Glenn should be alive. If father is, Glenn should be too.
[He realizes how childish he sounds but it’s how he feels. Isn’t that how this works? Aren’t they all getting second chances?]
[ That pure, reflexive reaction almost makes Felix laugh. Talking about what's just and fair in a situation that's far out of either of their control... it's familiar, and almost comforting.
But he shakes his head, and finally looks Dimitri in the eyes. ] I'm not wallowing in my grief, if that's what you're thinking. Just like before, I refuse to let his death hold me back.
[ (but when it happened, oh was he upset. he screamed and sobbed alone into his pillow, cursing sothis and every god of this new world he could think of that they took glenn from him again.)
He takes a slow sip of his tea. Takes a moment to gather his next words, spoken soft but sincere. ] ... but I appreciate the sentiment.
You’re so strong. It’s reassuring to know you’re still so strong. [Dimitri sets his mug down and offers his hand to Felix: palm up, between them on the couch.] I don’t remember everything. I don’t want to remember more. And for a long time I was terrified of meeting anyone – any of our friends – in case they stirred up any memories. I’ve avoided it.
[He and Felix are eye to eye still but he’s almost afraid of what Felix will have to say about this confession. He’s not a boar anymore, but he might be worse. A fearful rabbit running from its problems.] But I’m glad you found me. Thank you for looking for me. Thank you for finding me.
[ Felix understands where Dimitri's coming from. He's never claimed to know or truly understand all that goes through his head - but the trauma he experienced, the pain and anger he felt, the lives he trampled over or cut short by his own hand... he can't blame him for not wanting to know how deep the darkness goes.
He glances down at the hand between them before moving his own on top. Their fingers intertwine with ease, and it's a familiar feeling - but he wills himself to stay here, in the present, with this Dimitri. ]
I already told you, I'd been looking for quite some time. [ okay, he didn't say it in those exact words, but it was heavily implied. ] You don't remember it, and I'm not going to remind you, but I... owed it to you. [ A small squeeze. ] I'm not planning on leaving you alone this time.
[One day Dimitri will ask what happened to Felix, but today is not that day. Not when this is so fresh and he’s honestly so happy and relieved to see him.
He cracks a smile and it meets his eyes.] Be careful or I’ll hold you to that. You can’t change your mind later if you find me as intolerable as before.
[ Felix feels an emotion strike him square in the chest - an overwhelming urge to kiss that smile of his. He - he didn't think a simple smile could do such a thing to his heart.
He settles for leaning forward and touching his forehead to Dimitri's. ] Just don't lose yourself, and you'll be fine. [ or, don't become someone he doesn't recognize. ]
[Dimitri shakes his head, smile still prominent on his face.] I wont. Not this time. I promise.
[They may be in their own little world, but time still moves forward around them. While they're talking, catching up, Dimitri's hand never leaving Felix in some way, the sun gives way to the moon and darkness settles. It's only when his phone vibrates with an alarm (eat dinner, take your meds) does Dimitri startle out of their world.]
How - Goddess, when did it get so late? [A useless question.] Felix, I am so sorry.
[ Reluctantly, Felix lifts himself from his spot (more or less buried into Dimitri's side) and pulls out his phone. Huh. The day sure did fly by without either of them noticing. But he supposes that makes sense, as the abrupt end to their casual conversation leaves him realizing his throat's actually tired from how much he's talked. Normally he's a man of few words... but he supposes if anyone's going to make him behave differently, it's Dimitri.
He frowns, and is slow to release his hold on Dimitri's hand. ] It's fine. But I should go. [ ... he doesn't sound too convinced. ]
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But had he known that he'd lose Dimitri as a result, he wouldn't have left his side. Not even for a second.
He was told Dimitri died when Cornelia took over the capital. It's what everyone believed - and what he himself continued to believe even as rumors of an army growing in the ruins of Faergus under Blaiddyd's banner emerged. He couldn't cling to a false hope.
And, in a way, he was right. The beast who possessed Dimitri's body at Gronder Field wasn't even the boar he'd seen at the academy. His eyes burned with an unfathomable cold fury as he lurched across the battlefield, slaughtering all who stood in his path. Even as his blood seeped into the soil he refused to stand down. Not until he killed Edelgard.
That was the last time Felix saw Dimitri. According to Hilda, he (dimitri, the demon who controlled his body, whatever that was) died in pursuit of Edelgard. Collapsed, and was pierced by spears before he could rise to his feet again.
Felix took great satisfaction in helping Claude and Byleth cut down Edelgard a few months later. But even after that, his heart didn't know peace. Again and again, he asked himself why he didn't stay with Dimitri. He knew him better than anyone else. Could he have saved him? Could he have stopped him?
(after the war against the empire and nemesis ends, felix dies in a manner so similar, it's almost poetic. as blades pierce his chest and the last breath of life leaves his lungs, he wonders if dimitri felt pain in the end.)
These thoughts - these regrets - carry over to his current life. Though he doesn't have the power to protect him like before, he can't - he won't - let him stand alone. Not again.
But first, he has to find the damn guy. The world's a big place, and there's an infuriating amount of Dimitris with blond hair and blue eyes that aren't his Dimitri. So he unfortunately has to just wait and see what happens.
He isn't thinking about his lifelong quest as he's sitting in his too early in the morning calculus class. He's pretty sure his brain leaked out his ears around twenty minutes ago, so he's no longer capable of any thought. But as he stares out the window, he sees someone pass by, and his heart stops. The world vanishes around him, leaving him alone with this boy that he knows isn't a stranger, he knew he'd recognize him when he saw him and he was right, he was right, it's him-
In a burst of energy, he's out the door, all his belongings abandoned at his seat. They don't matter. Nothing else matters. When he gets outside, he sees him beginning to walk away - before he can get too far, he yells: ]
Dimitri!!
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He doesn't want to think more about it, uncover more of those memories, and cause those feelings to fester and swell. He doesn't remember what happened to his friends, his classmates that fought alongside him or against him. He doesn't know what happened to Annette or Mercedes who stayed with him if only purely to be near Gustav and each other. He doesn't know what happened to Ashe, who defected in a last ditch attempt to please his dead adoptive father. He doesn't know what happened to Dedue or Sylvain or Ingrid, who stuck by his side even for the worst of it. He doesn't know what happened to Felix.. the biggest mystery of them all. How ironic and cruel that the person he loved is the one he remembers the least of.
Whenever Dimitri remembers flashes of the war, the fighting, the bloodshed, Felix is never there alongside him. He doesn't even want to begin to think what that could mean.
At least, wherever he is, Felix is probably alive and well in this life.
Much like Felix, Dimitri isn't thinking about any of this currently. Currently, Dimitri is lost as all hell trying to find his also too early in the morning marketing class. He's going to be late at this rate and --
And then there is an all too familiar call of his name. Someone who's voice he's never heard in person but he'd recognize anywhere. He stops in his tracks to turn to the other and suddenly it really is just them in the world.]
Felix?
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But this Felix Hugo Fraldarius is a different man. His name leaves Dimitri's lips ("felix". he's missed that sound, missed him) and Felix is there in an instant, enveloping him in the tightest hug he can muster without hesitation.
Even now, he's taller than him. That thought is enough to make his eyes sting with the beginnings of tears long held back. ] It's about time you showed up. [ He presses his face against his shoulder and breathes him in. Hands bunching up the back of his shirt, he murmurs for only Dimitri to hear. ] I've been looking for you.
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He eventually settles on holding Felix in return, his hands settling on the small of his back and nose in Felix’s hair. It’s so funny to him, how he’s never known this Felix and yet this feels so comfortable – so right. They slot together like they were meant for each other.] I didn’t think you’d be looking for me. I thought I’d never see you again.
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He shakes his head, careful to not jostle Dimitri in the process. ] Of course I looked for you. You're... [ my best friend. my first and only love. the one person i never wanted to lose. ]
... Never mind. Forget I said that. [ It's pointless mentioning it, anyway. ] Anyway. Are you... alright?
[ google search "how to tactfully ask if someone is still a damn boar" ]
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I’m... better. [Not okay, not totally fine, but better. Better than how Felix would remember him. Much better than he expected to be after running into someone from his past. He slowly pulls back, as much as Felix will let him, so he can get a look at the other’s face.] ...Are you okay? Is –
[Is Glenn? Is Rodrigue? Are they even around? Dimitri starts to ask, but immediately his voice catches in his throat with the realization it may not be prudent to ask about them.] I think we should go somewhere more private to talk.
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... I live in the dorms. [ Translation: my room is out of the question. As much as he
lovestolerates his roommate, Ashe, he's not keen on the idea of kicking him out to have a private chat with Dimitri. He doesn't want to give him the wrong idea, nor open that can of worms. ] What do you suggest?no subject
[Which would clearly be the best setting for the conversation they’re about to have. Dimitri realizes one more thing outside of this world that only consists of himself and Felix.] ...did you run out of your class for me?
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Felix burns red and immediately lets go of Dimitri. ] That's none of your concern. [ Translation: yes, he did, and he'll have to 1) explain himself to the professor later and 2) pay Lysithea with cake in order to get the stuff he abandoned back.
But that's far from his mind at the moment, as he brings his hands back to his sides and turns his head in defiance. ] Come on. I don't want to stand around here all day. [ So lead the way, Dimitri! ]
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[And, truly, it is a short walk to Dimitri's apartment (the reason being that dimitri, because he cannot be trusted to feed himself, is still on the school's meal plan and needs quick access to the campus). The apartment is sparse, only the bare essentials. A dining table, cluttered with books and papers, which Dimitri deposits his keys at. A small couch with an equally small coffee table, positioned to stare at a wall. His bedroom is worse off but he wont be bringing Felix that way just yet.]
I don't have anything to drink besides water - oh, tea! I have tea [He heads into his kitchen, giving Felix quiet permission to wander and get comfortable.] and coffee. But I wouldn't recommend that; I only have it for when father visits.
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But Dimitri wanders into the kitchen, and Felix takes the unspoken invitation to look around and make himself at home. Not that there's really much to look at - the lack of any personal just screams Dimitri, but he almost wishes there was something more, to give him an idea how this Dimitri differs from the one he remembers.
"I only have it for when father visits."
... Well, that's one thing at least. If Lambert's alive, then he really must be doing better this time.
Felix sits on the couch and plucks one of the books from the table. ] Do you have anything besides chamomile? [ Yes, he remembers his favorite tea, shut up. ]
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But he remembers that Felix enjoyed spicy, smokier flavors much like Dedue.] Lapsang? It's a black tea. [He gets some water boiling, regardless.]
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Though he can't see him from the living room, Felix nods. ] Fine by me. [ While he waits for Dimitri to return with their drinks, he absentmindedly flips through the book he's chosen - a lengthy care guide for succulents. (cute...) ]
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He's starting easy - he has a small succulent named Greenie on his windowsill. That's why he has the succulent book. He bought a whole book for one plant.
(he thinks he might start crocheting soon too but that's a whole 'nother animal)
Dimitri joins Felix on the couch with their two mugs in hand.] Now that we're here, I admittedly don't know what to say.
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But nothing comes after a few seconds of silence, so Felix is left with only one thing to latch onto. ] ... You mentioned your father. [ He has only a handful of memories of Lambert, himself - namely, the way he treated him as though he were his own son at times, and the lighthearted smile his father had only for him. ] He's still around?
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[Despite his lingering depression and anxiety, Dimitri is happy in this life (and only going to become happier he expects). He hopes Edelgard is too.
With Felix bringing up his father, it now feels more appropriate to ask about Rodrigue.] Is Rodrigue well? Is - Glenn? [He stumbles over Glenn's name, still. It's difficult. He remembers the tension the topic of him used to bring - all because no one cared to remember Glenn for who he actually was. Only Felix did.]
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Funny. It's been years, but this still isn't easy to talk about. ]
... Glenn's dead. [ He does his best to keep the emotion out of his voice but Dimitri, keen as he is, might be able to pick up the traces of sorrow beneath his even tone. ] He was in a car accident around five years ago.
But my old man's fine. [ His fingers tighten slightly around the mug. ] Well, as fine as he can be, anyway. He's not glorifying Glenn's death this time around, but he's just as insufferable. [ And, from the sound of things, their relationship is only a little less strained. Not that Felix didn't try to make things better - just... there's only so much either of them could do. Especially when no one in their family's particularly great at expressing love.
(there's also the circumstances from their previous life to consider. he never explained to his father why he no longer wanted to be a member of house fraldarius. he just... left. no parting words, no dramatic or tearful goodbyes - just a short letter left on his childhood bed for rodrigue to find after he was miles and miles away from home. he doesn't remember anything special about the last time they saw each other, either... though, knowing them, they probably argued about whether or not dimitri was still alive, and he probably left his father to stare at his retreating back in a fit of anger of frustration.)
Maybe they're not meant to get along. Just like how he's apparently not allowed to have his older brother past the age of thirteen. ]
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[He realizes how childish he sounds but it’s how he feels. Isn’t that how this works? Aren’t they all getting second chances?]
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But he shakes his head, and finally looks Dimitri in the eyes. ] I'm not wallowing in my grief, if that's what you're thinking. Just like before, I refuse to let his death hold me back.
[ (but when it happened, oh was he upset. he screamed and sobbed alone into his pillow, cursing sothis and every god of this new world he could think of that they took glenn from him again.)
He takes a slow sip of his tea. Takes a moment to gather his next words, spoken soft but sincere. ] ... but I appreciate the sentiment.
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[He and Felix are eye to eye still but he’s almost afraid of what Felix will have to say about this confession. He’s not a boar anymore, but he might be worse. A fearful rabbit running from its problems.] But I’m glad you found me. Thank you for looking for me. Thank you for finding me.
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He glances down at the hand between them before moving his own on top. Their fingers intertwine with ease, and it's a familiar feeling - but he wills himself to stay here, in the present, with this Dimitri. ]
I already told you, I'd been looking for quite some time. [ okay, he didn't say it in those exact words, but it was heavily implied. ] You don't remember it, and I'm not going to remind you, but I... owed it to you. [ A small squeeze. ] I'm not planning on leaving you alone this time.
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He cracks a smile and it meets his eyes.] Be careful or I’ll hold you to that. You can’t change your mind later if you find me as intolerable as before.
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He settles for leaning forward and touching his forehead to Dimitri's. ] Just don't lose yourself, and you'll be fine. [ or, don't become someone he doesn't recognize. ]
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[They may be in their own little world, but time still moves forward around them. While they're talking, catching up, Dimitri's hand never leaving Felix in some way, the sun gives way to the moon and darkness settles. It's only when his phone vibrates with an alarm (eat dinner, take your meds) does Dimitri startle out of their world.]
How - Goddess, when did it get so late? [A useless question.] Felix, I am so sorry.
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He frowns, and is slow to release his hold on Dimitri's hand. ] It's fine. But I should go. [ ... he doesn't sound too convinced. ]
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